Saturday, December 31, 2011


Woke up late, macam dah seminggu tak jumpa katil. Had a bad dream. Thought I'm ready if that really happens, hakikatnya, sentap jugak.

Mata kiri still bergerak-gerak, make it a week now. Kenapa eh?

First day of 2012, I cant believe i'm gonna be 23. It feels and sounds so damn old.

Ahh. Ngantuk lagi. Sungguh membuntukan.

Yes, awak cute. Tapi awak ni budak sangat. Mengeja pn tak khatam lagi.

SO. 1550. Kajang Selangor.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


When someone else did more-or-less the same genre like yours, but in different views and perspectives just to make everything clearer and wiser, plus ur goals and his are similar - knowledge-hunting for His love, u'd be amazed and thankful.

Thank you. :D

Falling slowly

I don't know you but I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me and always fool me
And I can't react

You have suffered enough and what with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'll paint it black

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now

SO. 211211. Kajang, Selangor.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Beautiful date yet a bad day indeed.

Fever. And first day of time of the month. So I'm physically and emotionally unstable. Tersadai kat rumah, kerja apepun x siap. Back-pain of already a week. And I'm hungry too. Nak masak xde minyak. Maka lengkaplah penderitaan gua. Feels like going home again this week, pastu taknak balik sini dah.

Haih. Nak buat ape ni? =.=

SO. 1709. Kajang Selangor.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

What happened on 031211.

1. It was Saturday. Had a good sleep the night before so I decided to go freshen up. And KLCC was chosen.

2. Loitering around is always easy but tiring, and this gets worse when I didn’t find my cup of tea on handbags as well as jeans.

3. Bought a top and a pashmina - out of my list. Argh.

4. I should start having milk in my everyday diet. My bones are cracking especially the ankles and fingers on the feet.

5. Salesmen of Isetan were I guess, charming, physically I mean. Was it a trick of the store to get more people attracted? I’d say it was.

6. Nobody wants to be sinned. But temptations are always there. And I failed to control myself. I feel bad. Isk.

7. Heard a conversation. Men change when they’re married? No more sweet talking, less understanding, tired of everything. Perhaps, patience sounds so bizarre to their ears as they only know to get mad easily. On whom? The wife, of course. One of numerous things I could not tolerate is, when a woman gets bullied. Gender-biased phenomena is still in our society? Pathetic.

"There's a side of me I wouldnt want you to know."

SO. 051211. 0019. Kajang, Selangor.

Monday, November 28, 2011


Self-quality time is slowly decreasing, and I hate this part of my life.

What I’m feeling right now reminds me of how wonderful my days were couple of years back. I still remember my first few days in the uni - getting late to classes, copying assignments, club meetings, choral speaking practices and much more. Final year was tough though. And I still bear in mind for every single bit of the experiences. That’s how I got here now.

Studying is never easy. Nevertheless, I still have some time off of books. I went jogging to ease my mind after hours of memorizing notes, I met up friends during weekends, and I slept like half-day long when there’s no class on certain days.

And I miss doing those. Now that I’m working, I have very little time for myself. I feel like I’m abandoning my own self-care – xde jogging dah, muka comot, skin rashes kena gigit serangga, lengkaplah penderitaan gua. I’d have to go for fieldwork every fortnight, and outdoor cases are unexpected - expedition, seminar and so on. I got fatigue on weekends, so I’d just rest at home. And watch tv. And browse thru facebook and email. And that’s it. Sounds pretty boring, and believe me, it is duller than it may sound.

If it is up to me, I don’t wanna do anything right now. I really wanna have my hands off of pen and test-pad. I just want to have a year break. How I wish it’d be possible.

For recent, it is not only the changing phase of studying to working. My life is undergoing differences in terms of the seriousness of every decision I make. Every single yes or no contributes to future. Yeah, just follow the flow you may say to lighten up the burden in your mind and heart. But how hard gambler we really are?

Had a chat earlier with one and only brother-in-law, Hairie. We talked randomly-my future other half, politics, science, development of Malaysia, religions and so on. When talking to him, I always take him as a spokesperson for Mars creatures. And yes, for some cases and situations, he gives me a contrast view compared to what I might be thinking as a Venus's. Since my love life has never been as easy one, he told me that

"Keep looking on."

I still remember his elaboration that makes him say the above statement, but I dont feel like spilling it out here. I prefer to keep it concealed myself.

Gua mahu lari jauh-jauh for few days, without hand phone so nobody is able to reach me. Wait. Where’s my calendar?”

SO. 0004. 291111. Kajang, Selangor.

Sunday, November 20, 2011


"Try not to depend on others sangat tau." - Somebody close, 171111.
I couldnt agree more.

And all I need is self-assurance, the answer of how to be independent.

Yes, I value self-quality time, as much as I value those important in my life.

Today's date is beautiful. Just like you. Thank u.

SO. 2305. Kajang, Selangor.

Monday, November 14, 2011


" Jujur, aku sedang makan hati. Tak mengapalah, ini mungkin hanya hasutan syaitan sahaja. Depa mana nak kita hidup suka ria senang happy happy. "

SO. 2347. Kajang Selangor.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Cliche but true

Tiada sebab pun untuk jatuh cinta.”

It sounds like damn cliché, but deep inside, I can hardly resist the truth behind the statement above.

Sometimes, you have someone who behaves like your soul mate, whom takes a very good care of you, who’s willing to go thru all sorts of troubles just to make you smile, whom eases your heart when you feel down and most importantly, whose actions and words capable to bring you to Jannah,


You ended up liking someone whom you’re totally clueless about. The one with not-my-type characteristics, whom only fit as a buddy and only know what other people know of you, the one you’re wondering if he could stand holding your secrets without letting the cat out of the bag (and maybe u don’t even share stories with him coz you don’t feel like to) and much more traits you wouldn’t want to list them down.

Jodoh itu rahsia Allah.”

It’s not that I’m ready to get married nor I now have met my other half, but it is my future and I’d be lying if I say I don’t think about it, if I careless about it. In the meantime, yes, I do crushing on someone. And I don’t know how to handle it.


I’ll never ever do a love confession (I really hope so). Because…

1. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’d lose our friendship.
2. It is said that “if we love a person, don’t tell him, coz Allah will lessen our love towards him. Instead, tell Allah. Allah knows whom we’re destined with.”

As Muslims, qada’ and qadar (fate) is something we’re thought to have faith in as it is determined by Allah the Almighty. Hidup mati, rezeki, dan jodoh itu kepunyaan semua makhlukNya. Nevertheless, Islam doesn’t teach its followers to just sit down without doing any efforts (depend solely on fate) to achieve what we want. Usaha, doa dan tawakkal - three words that completes how Muslims should carry their duties as Caliph of the Mundane, as Allah will not change our fate if we don’t change it ourselves.

And if, we still don’t get what we wished for, always bear in mind that,

He gives what we NEED instead of what we WANT.

Who else is the perfect organizer for every single thing on the universe?

SO. 301011. 1721. Kajang, Selangor.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Seriously, like seriously, and I'm freaking serious, that

I am very much in love with Johan Asari. But who the hell is he?

I have always loved the persona of bad boys; the face, gel-less hair, manly voice, fan of shorts or three-quarter and such.

And the best part is, when u see them wearing Baju Melayu. I bet they really sell the piece.

My Tuesdays have never been boring since Cinta Elysa kicked its ass. Only to watch him this week, I postponed my nap even though my upper eyelashes almost met the bottom ones just now.

Johan Asari, seriously, kawen jom? ;)

SO. 111011. 2214. Kajang, Selangor.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


1. I easily get fatigue nowadays. I feel old somehow.

2. Current crush: Johan Aasari aka Botak.

3. Works are piling hell up like they never exist before.

4. Days are challenging in the meantime, and I'm mentally and emotionally abused.

5. I really wanna get some break off. Pretending is freaking hard, man.

6. Shedding few pounds down sounds awesome. I just dont have the heart to do stretching and perspiring and I'm feeling lazy. Yeah. I'm soon to be a couch potato, I know. Stop telling me that.

7. I miss cycling and sitting up.

8. William is absolutely a mouth-watering restaurant. Stepping there again is a gigantic yes.

9. Current song: Someone Like You by Adele

10. Fucking bored. Tyra & Aina left Bangi for Rompin. And I'm probably the last men staying up now.

"Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

SO. 051011. 0019. Kajang, Selangor.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Future sounds so scary

One month plus to my degree convocation in September and I dont feel excited, yet. After three years of slaving myself to memorising notes and graphs, I am now hesitating of what future will make out of me. And apparently, biology isnt me. It might be the apple of many doctors and surgeons' eyes, but as for myself, it doesnt define who I really am. I do love some parts of bio fields or subjects; the ones related to human and health always attract my attention. But those associated with nature, for instance, botany and environment, so far, dont mesmerize me any further. I realised that my passion and capabilities wont collide, thus making things more complicated. I love maths, but I couldnt solve differential equation and calculus. At times, I found myself getting indulged in reading histories and laws, but I somehow failed to remember which parties had involved in World War II. Writing is what fills my leisure time, but my Bahasa or English is getting worst, due to lack of practises. The one that never ever had or is going to be something I want to treasure is of course, anything thats got to do with softwares, computer skills and information technologies intelligence. That might also be one of the reasons why I am not into games, at all.

If I opt for lecturer or teaching line, I almost get my future guaranteed. But, I guess satisfaction is what I'm gonna miss. If it is business line of which I wanted to do for so long, I ought to be extremely strong (someone advised me so) as risks are everywhere. Or else, be a policewoman, making true of late Tokyem's wish.

I am, urmmm, at my wits ends. Maybe it is way in the future that makes me feel like ''ahh. Its not like i'm gonna settle down everything today so whats there to be worried about.'' The only issue here, how the hell am I gonna answer this ''done for ur degree. Have u applied for spa?'' or ''if u really wanna do masters, whats next? other than being a lecturer, i mean.''

Oh man. This hari raya will sure be hell exhausting explanation (or might be eyes blinking as well) i'd do.

SO. 150811. 1838. BBU, JB.

Friday, August 5, 2011

What I miss?

1. Writing small greeting notes, folding it up and putting it under a friend’s desk. Just like I used to do when I was in upper secondary school.

2. Marching. Sounds pretty crazy, but yeah, I had a bash at doing this for school sports day.

3. Having crush, during tuition classes or in the bus, heading home after school hours. Walking in the bazaar as it is now the fasting month, as I expected, I saw Rangga, the one I adored few years back. And he’s doing well I guess. Oh, he’s more tanned.

4. Watching people playing tennis and basketball. And as for myself, I miss cycling! These were what I did three years ago, in the matriculation period.

5. Wearing spectacles. I’m thinking of having glasses back again. Not because I’m sick of contact lenses, but yeah, an old-school frame is what I miss after a while abandoning it.

6. Reading Cleo. Final term early this year was so hectic that I couldn’t find my leisure time spending on what I’ve loved before. Last month’s cover was Rihanna and I hate her, so I want to get this month’s issue when I have the time. My English is getting from bad to worse, and I don’t feel right about it.

7. Losing weight. Okay, this sounds hell funny. I did diet five years back, the skinniest I’ve ever been (for me, skinniest is the lowest pounds I’d possibly achieve), it was in my first year that I really did sit-ups and I did jog quite some times when I was in my second year. And now, laziness is all over me, I swear I’m sort of don’t-really-care-what-I’m-consuming recently. Oh damn. I’m flabbier and easily languid, I know. But the will to shed few kilos down isn’t here, and this makes things harder.

8. Watching Ronaldo, not football. I’m not into Spanish League at all, so yeah, it has been a while since I last witnessed him performing superbly. There’re two games I had myself stayed up; Real Madrid was defeated 1-5 by Barca and then, it was a draw 1-1 for the similar involved teams in a match later which I’ve forgotten for which league.

9. Bare clean face. I’ve only known pimples at the age of 18. Before that age, acne was way too far from reaching my face, even if I didn’t wash my skin perfectly. I didn’t even have a proper facial wash at that time. If I’m behaving the same for now, blemishes would be so packed up and closed that they can greet each other. And some more, I do feel like leaving the house without any single face paint; no lip gloss, eyeliners, blusher or whatsoever. Not even concealer/compact powder if possible (possible here means I still have my confidence level up high).

10. Having a bone to pick up with. I miss arguing with someone who is capable of making me confused and desperate. I’ll be doing red herring when you see me out of my wits; it is when the title is yours. I hate losing and I wont give up easily, but deep inside, I admire people winning over me.

SO. 050811. 1511. BBU, JB.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Intentionally, I wanted to write something else; more to like, hmmm, letting the cat out of the bag, but doing that would raise questions marks before me later. And I’m tired of answering and explaining something I’m unsure of.

The only I can express now is that the one I’ve been talking in my previous posts is someone who is close to other girl, and he has many female friends. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up with someone I’ve never ever thought of. For sure I’m freaking jealous, but who is he to me?

It has been three times; I heard twice and I read once. I’m absolutely tired of holding in. But I’m afraid of whats gonna happen if I’m bursting this out. Friendship will no longer be on the list. He has been a great help as a buddy, and losing him would be hurtful.

It’s the time of the month, and I’m mumbling like an old nanny and I should stop typing shit over here.

Oh, this is the only that makes Onn's family to be ecstatic. With the birth of a niece, I've already had my title changed. I'm now an aunt! Kiddy, get well soon and cepatlah balik rumah! Duduk kat nursery pun bukannya ada mamat hensem kan. ;)

SO. 020811. 0024. BBU, JB.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


TheOtherKhairul (TOK).

That was a day I encountered his blog, the same day I fell in love with his writings. He made me think, and frankly speaking, he somehow has urged me to change. This stranger is indeed, a booster.

I never say people around me have no influence at all. They do, really. I'm not pious at all, but I believe, when we decided to be a better Caliph of the Mundane, He will show us the way.

TOK loves reading Hlovate, a novelist. I once wondered, what is so great about her? Is she really awesome? At that moment, I assumed, Hlovate must be a great inspiration to TOK.

Orang kata novel Hlovate ni macam baik, I mean, she's practicing dakwah thru her stories. Time goes by, makin ramai yang sebut2 nama dia, especially orang-orang yang memang suka baca novel. Sure dorg kenal Hlovate.

Almost three weeks back, wa masuk Seksyen Bakteriologi for internship. Sembang punya sembang, wa terpandang novel titled 5 tahun 5 bulan. Usha punya usha, Hlovate yang tulis. So since then, bila xde sampel baru yang datang, wa baca novel tu.

Days passed by. Memang betul apa orang cakap. Frankly, I wont rate that novel for full marks, 10/10. I'd give 8.7 maybe. Selama ni, novel yang wa baca akan ada ayat penyedap hati bila ada tragedi. Lets say ''biasalah dugaan hidup. Allah duga sbb dia sayang kita..."

Tapi pada wa, Hlovate tak tulis direct camtu. Dia akan amek petikan ayat Al-Quran and then, translate to malay. And ayat-ayat yang dia amek tu semua macam related dengan kronologi cerita. Somehow, wa rasa dia ni dulu macam belajar subjek Tafsir yang ada kat sekolah agama. Disebabkan wa tak faham Arabic language, wa rasa its a good effort bila dia buat translating tu. Yelah, berapa ramai yang baca surah tapi tak faham maksudnya? I'm not exempted.

Dia sembang cara halus, dakwah berhikmah. And also, up-to-date. What she's writing is what's happening in our world now. At the very least, she's making me aware of whats attacking our life at the moment.

Ahhh dont worry. Novel dia tak skema pun. U wont feel like reading Reader's Digest, I guarantee. :D

Thanks Dear Almighty, with these hands and eyes, I found an amazing blog that led me to an inspiring novelist.

SO. 210711. 2100. BBU, JB.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Opposite attracts? Maybe.

Time flies. You slowly bare your true colours. And yes, many of them I've never ever seen. I'm your real stalker, and still, I guess, I aint know you enough. I wont say you disappoint me, but you just make me think a whole heck of a lot more.

You are so different from me where I bet our similarities are finger-counting. You love politics and I love gossips, you watch cartoon but I adore romantic comedies, I'm fairer (haha :p) and u're tanner. Ok fine, u're skinnier while I'm fleshier. Despite all these differences where I'm unable to understand u as whole, how can u be so attractive? ;)

SO. 080711. 1828. BBU.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Final day of my bornday month. I am now 22 years and 13 days.

Yesterday was fine, and the evening was hell awesome. I fed on bird’s nest drink and it was mouth-watering. Grateful enough to be given one bottle as a token of visiting KAV’s lab, I guess. Hahaha ;)

Later in the evening wasn’t so beautiful I assumed. Out of sudden, I didn’t feel well. Aches conquered all over my body, signs I might be having fever. Few weeks ago, I had a medical leave for the similar expected disease. I didn’t finish the pills given, so yeah. The virus/bacteria weren’t killed completely, and they strike again now.

If possible, I really want to avoid taking leave from my internship coz I did it once before and I felt so wrong and uneasy. Yes, I don’t feel like doing it again.
I’ve gotten some SGD for my Singapore trip this weekend; I really hope I can make it with a healthy physique.

Too many things happened and I couldn’t just grade them as coincidences. I think the time has come. Their love gradually changed me. Allah Dear Almighty, please, award me some inner strengths.

I’ve decided to not love MU or soccer any longer (but I might still be watching World Cup I guess). And I’m teaching myself to stop admiring Ronaldo or whoever. He’s still one handsome guy and I’d probably melt if I meet him. Haha But yeah, I feel it’s enough now. I’m not hating what I’ve loved before, I just wanna minimize the interest. Don’t worry people, I won’t slaughter you if you wanna talk about the sport; and I’ll be listening. :D

Currently playing, Perpisahan Ini from Aizat ft. First Edition.

SO. 300611. 1128. Parasitological lab, MVKJB

Friday, June 24, 2011

sing-along je lah jawabnya, bukan spore

Seriously weyh, gua nak sangat pergi Singapore. walaupun terpaksa mengorbankan impian wa nak beli bb. :'(

Tapi kan, macam gua pernah cakap, tukar rm500 baru dapat 203 SGD. Not even half. :(

Gua ingat nak pergi sana sebab nak cari baju raya, kira nak jalan2 ah, singapore tengah sale skang. Then wa ngan member2 pun beriya-iya nak g next week. Kitorg nak pergi dua hari, so kena overnite sana. Kitorg usha lah HOTEL kat sana. Bapaklah mahal oiii. Kalau dah 2++ SGD, tukar duet ringgit dah jd bp kan. So bila dah divide 5, kuranglah mahal but still mahal jugak. Transportation and accommodation je dah almost 100 SGD sorang, tak termasuk fee atau game kat sentosa island tu ha. So tinggal 100 lagi je nak makan and beli barang. Dapat beli stokin je lah jwbnya. Wa xnk habiskan semua duet kat sana, nanti wa miskin lah di bumi sendiri. ecehh

Then kan, ktorg usha HOSTEL, ala yang duduk mcm kat dorm asrama tu. Memang ada yang murah, tp jauh dari city. Dah jumpa dekat dgn city, dia mixed dorm pulak, campur laki perempuan. So x bolehlah kan. Then dah jumpa yg female je, akak gua kata hostel x berapa nak selamat sebab duduk ramai2. Kalau dorm besar, ktorg akan duduk ngan orang luar so bahaya sbb mana tau ada orang bawak dadah ke, nanti satu dorm kena. Then dia kata hostel tu x besar mana, ada double-decker beds je. ruang solat xde. Toilet kat luar. Toilet tu wa x kesah, tp yg wajib ni wa kesah sket. Sbb dia kata even nak cari surau dlm shopping complex kat sana pun susah. Wa buntu haihhh.

Banyak sgt kena fikir and settlekan, wa pun xtau ktorg ni jd g sana ke x. =.=

Borak punya borak, bapak wa kata g batam je sebab bila tukar rupiah, boleh jadi kaya dapat juta2. Tapi g sana kena naik bot lah. HAHAHA *ketawa dlm kesedihan memikirkan adakah impian akan jadi kenyataan*

SO. 250611. 0040. BBU, JB.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

How did my eyesbrows meet

It has been two days watching The Arrival. And there are some parts of it that almost make my both eyebrows meet. Some left me with big question marks on my mind. Knowing that Dajjal were the ones conquering Britain and US before and soon, Israel, makes me speechless. I was left with lots of unsolved miseries, especially issues associated with political power and throne.

I’ve learned history when I was in secondary school, and The Arrival told a lot about World War II. And yes, I had a bad memory; I couldn’t recall what I’ve learned about it. And the series are talking about World War III that’s gonna happen (if Allah wills it) between two groups; the ones who believe in One God and the ones who believe in Satan (they believe God is only an illusion and human can be God). Surprisingly, the WWIII isn’t between monotheistic faiths (eg: Islam, Christian, and so forth) which I always assumed. Then I think back. Why the monotheistic faiths aren’t collide on each other like what we’ve been planting on (what we see today is hatred on different religion)? Back to basic, monotheistic faiths were initially from a belief that the truth is, there has only one God and one message behind all the true religions. A true believer should believe in the messages by Moses (Nabi Musa), Jesus (Nabi Isa) and Nabi Muhammad are the same message, that is there’s only ONE religion. But why there are so many differences between these religions? And the worst part is, why there’s no unity between the sects of same monotheistic faiths? Because the original Holy Torah (Kitab Taurat) is replaced by The Talmud which was written by men (false messenger) in Babylon. And The Talmud has some missions. A part from it is to dig beneath the Holy Aqsa (Masjid Al-Aqsa) to retrieve the buried treasure. And what is the buried treasure? Ia adalah buku-buku amalan sihir yang diajar oleh syaitan kepada manusia sewaktu zaman pemerintahan Nabi Sulaiman. This digging was already achieved centuries ago. And the ones who did it are the ones we now know as THE FREEMASONS, dan ilmu sihir ini ialah asas iluminati yang memuja syaitan dan percaya bahawa dajjal ialah nabi penyelamat akhir zaman. Tetapi, ilmu sihir ini tidak lagi ditulis. Where can we find them? Symbols (eg: one eye on US dollar), rituals and architecture (eg: pyramid with 13 levels). Wasn’t this what Satan had asked from Allah? Untuk menyesatkan manusia?

Like I said earlier, some of the truths left me with the big "how" and "why". Too many information at one time almost made my eyes twisted and yeah, I had headache. Maybe I think too much. And because of that, I called my buddy. I talked to them. One of them, Salma, who had already watched the series gave me advises. She reminded me not to “consume” everything I’ve seen. Some need to be filtered. And she also suggested it’d be better if I read reviews made by ustaz concerning the series.

I haven’t finished watching the episodes yet. I need some breaks so I won’t rupture my own brain blood veins. =.=

Have u ever heard of the Wake-Up Project? It’s a series about The Divine Book, Kitab Tuhan. And that is non-other than The Holy Quran. I’ve done watching the first episode, another nine to go. I hope this one is easier to understand. :)

Have work. Take care people! :D

SO. 230611. 0935. MVKJB, JB.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

It felt so good. :)

Kalau kita sukakan seseorang, jangan beritahu si dia. Nanti Allah kurangkan rasa cinta kita padanya. Sebaliknya, luahkanlah pada Allah, beritahulah Allah. Allah maha tahu siapa jodoh kita.”

When I read this, I was smiling and smiling all over my face. Hahaha Idk. I quoted this from The Other Khairul's blog and I found it so very meaningful. The surface of this phrase is ordinary but the way it conveys the importance of acknowledging the lordship of Allah The Almighty is just...incredible.

Yeah. Lately, I've been thinking about jodoh and life in the future - what I'm gonna indulge in - I might end up doing things I love or hate, whom I'd be married to, etc. Thats the reason why I felt so relieved when I found the quote above. Omg. I just couldnt stop smiling! :D

SO. 120611. 2357. BBU, JB.

Friday, June 10, 2011


One of my weaknesses, I couldnt hold temptations or what I feel like doing.

#1 If I feel like cutting my hair, I'd go straight away to the hairdresser, even if there's an exam on the next day. I did this when I was in my 4th term.

#2 I only had about 2 hours break, and I went to a shopping mall which its one-way was around 40 mins journey. I bought things I wanted and headed back to campus. Yes, I rushed. I should have waited for the weekend shouldnt I?

#3 I'm tired and in need of good sleep. But all I can think of while lying on the bed is surfing the internet over few things. Yes, I'd get up and do it though I'm bloody tired. If my mind is actively thinking of something, I couldnt get these eyes closed. Just like now.

Fund for spending: Ik.

I'm torn between a blackberry and walks in Singapore. I browsed through websites and I'm hell interested in blackberry bold. But the price range is beyond my limit (the ones with prepaid). Even if its within (the ones with postpaid), the package includes a contract for 2 years with a monthly payment for at least 100 bucks, without exceeding on any of internet, calls and other limits. Lately, I've been thinking of converting my cell line to Celcom if I succeeded in buying this smartphone. I asked my friend if she's happy to be one of bb users. She doesnt seem excited becoming one, she said it is just ordinary. Ok now, I'm at my wits ends.

There comes Singapore. JB is kinda next-door to this republic and unfortunately, I havent got to go loitering around it yet! I only stepped into its airport, as a transit to Sydney on 2009. My clicks are planning on having a short-three-day-vacation in this Lion City on this July. But I can only make it on weekend as I'm completing my internship now. So yeah, I just dont know how since its complicated to meet up everybody's schedule. And since the currency now is 1 SGD = 2.44247 MYR, I'd only get about 205 dollars for 500 malaysian bucks. Its not even half! whatthefish! The rate is high isnt it? We should have planned for Indonesia instead. *sigh*

But Singapore is now having their sales until 24th of July. >.<

You know what? I'm thinking of going there tomorrow! But most of my clicks arent here. I've never been there, and I'm unable to make it alone. :(

SO. 110611. 0217. BBU JB.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


I've always wished, always, that I could change or re-do those unwanted life scenes, just like how it shows on movies and dramas. You may be planning to cross the ocean, but tsunami strikes without the warning. So, plan for the best and expect for the worst. Thats life. We're slaves, we know nothing. Thats the reason why we can only sketch the drawings as we're given the pencils, brushes and paints, (yes, all of our senses) but the uniqueness behind them are determined by the only one who knows the best, Allah the Almighty.

Frankly speaking, I'm very much disappointed right now. But I guess, one's comfort zone doesnt last forever, does it?

Knowing that my instinct on April 3rd wasnt right is painful. To acknowledge something I've never imagined before is indeed unbearable.

It isnt an easy task to convince myself that there's blessing in disguise. But I have to try it whole-heartedly. Allah kan akan makbulkan permintaan kita, though sometimes we didnt get what we prayed for. Yes, He gives what we NEED instead of what we WANT. He knows best afterall. Trust Him, u'll get to see the rainbow after the rain. :D

SO. 070611. 2340. BBU, JB.

Saturday, May 28, 2011


'Nuff said.

Oh btw, buena suerte Manchester United. No matter if u win or lose, I'm gonna support u all the way. May you perform at your best. *love*

SO. 0044. 290511. BBU JB.

Monday, May 23, 2011


I know its only Tuesday but apparently the beginning of this week hasnt been good to me. Yesterday's incident was mild. Today's was hard, severely difficult. I've never ever thought this would happen to those I love. My feelings are all mixed-up - anger, disappointed, sad, torn. I couldnt describe them in words. Everything's now changed entirely.

"Allah sedang menguji." Semoga kami semua tabah dan sabar menghadapinya. Ameen.

SO. 240511. 0859. BBU.

Saturday, May 14, 2011


Its our 19th! The sweetest league title ever!

Congratulations to my all-time fav Manchester United for their 19th title! Well deserved, Ferguson's team just keep getting results. Well done Sir. We're on top of the perch! *love love*

Shafuraa Onn is all smiles. Thanks MU for making me ecstatic. :D

SO. 2307. 140511. BBU, JB.

Monday, May 9, 2011

9th day of May

It is harder than it seems or sounds. The only thing I’m hoping is that, I can finally be neutral. Like a friend’s status “If you love a person but you don’t wanna jeopardize your friendship with him/her, just…let the feelings go.”

A good buddy of mine said “ Kalau kau mati dengan menyimpan perasaan menyukai seseorang, kau dikira mati syahid tau. Hikhik.” Then I replied “Kalau aku beritahu orang lain tapi dia still tidak tahu, nanti boleh mati syahid jugak eh?” She answered “ Hmm. Tak kot. Memang tak boleh beritahu sesiapa. Sebab tu aku tak beritahu kau siapa aku suka. Hahaha ;p”

So yeah, that’s pretty clear. I wont be telling anyone after this. But somehow, am I capable of doing that? I enquire myself. Haha ;)

Now, three close friends already knew my secret. Makin ramai. Oh man, its extremely difficult for me to keep mum about my ongoing issues. I couldnt help from sharing my things with other people, especially the ones I always talk to. I can simply let the cat go out of the bag!

As time passes by, more and more people are talking about marriage. Yes, I’m 22, and yeah, I’m undoubtedly young! And why the hell do the people keep asking me when to tie a knot? Sometimes, outsiders (not necessarily neighbours next door, I mean, the big family-uncles, aunts, cousin, all blood ties) are the ones pressuring my parents & myself. Not exactly giving pressure, but you know, the questions related to special friend, bla bla bla. The worst case is that, because of my age which they believe to be the right time knowing ‘someone’, they’d be surprise when I say ‘kawan adalah.’ They’d be like “ Lahhh. Xkan xde yang special kot?” Most of the time, deep inside, I just wanna yell “ betullah xde!” Then thinking that they’re oldies, I somehow ought to be respectful to them. So I’d just present them a bitter smile.

Loser lah. Never had an ex, currently dating no one. Crush? Many. Tapi crush je lah. Until present, I’d never do a confession. I think I couldn’t bear getting rejected. Or worst, losing a friend. So after some time, the feeling just fades away. The hardest was having someone as the apple of my eyes for three years, without meeting each other. I stalked his page every day, oh no, not every day, it was every time I logged in my facebook. Pretty crazy yeah? HAHA ;p

No, I’m lunatic no more. It’s the end of liking him. Move to next please! :D

There’s a kid I’m attached to. Not really actually, its just a confusion. Coz I couldn’t be firm of what I feel; if I really like him. And I don’t stalk his page every day; I seldom look up at his updates (I believe its quite surprising when I don’t really miss him). But while writing this; I’m listening to a song, which reminds me of him.

Huh. I feel tired. New face please! I miss having the good old times, macam crush dalam bas pergi sekolah dulu, or budak tuition ke. Comel oh. So therefore, please, ada budak utm yang comel masuk praktikal this coming 16th. Coz now I’m all alone doing nothing! Bored while wishing ‘cepatlah pukul 1, nak makan’ and I usually ended up napping in the lab!

Till then amigos, toodles!

Shafuraa Onn. 090511. 1830. BBU, JB.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


I'm freaking hungry, like damn hungry. Tau tadi makan nasi goreng, makan kue teow sup je tak dapat hold tummy fullness for a long time. =.=

I'm gaining weight and pimples. Fine.

I'm re-thinking of doing Master. Idk. Or shud I just apply for the cops? Maybe.

I've decided to bin my diary. Its been a while since I last updated it, so baik buang je. Lagipun baru 3 pages. Nak tulis pun dah tak ingat nak tulis ape.

Arsenal was defeated. I'm a hardcore fan of MU, but if the trophy doesnt go to OT, I'd rather let The Gunners having it. Sorry The Blues, you arent my cup of tea, so please, dont get your hopes high, we wont let you get the title for two consecutive years.

My final paper will be on this Tues. Banyaklah nak kena study coz the exam includes all notes, starting from the very beginning. How the hell would I remember? Bawak toyol kang. Alah. Kalau kantoi tak boleh grad. :(

Its been a week since he met The Lord. Ya Allah, please, bless him. IMYVM, HIM.

Shafuraa Onn. 250411. 0232. UKM Bangi.

Monday, April 18, 2011


180411. I hope, I pray, that it was just a dream, a sad dream. Apparently, the truth, the reality, the happening is just painfully true.

My previous post said " perlu menenangkan fikiran." And I said this to someone on Sunday "cepatlah hari selasa, aku nak lari."

That might be an early sign. Nampaknya betul. Memang wa kena pergi dari sini, dan pulang ke rumah.

Ya Allah, redhakanlah aku dengan pemergian salah satu orang yang sangat aku sayang. Tanpa dia, mungkin aku tak berada pada tahap yang sekarang ini. Kau cucurikanlah rahmat ke atas Haji Ibrahim bin Mohamed, permudahkanlah perjalannya di sana, dan Kau tempatkanlah dia di kalangan orang yang beriman. Amin.

Tok Yem, you will always be in my heart & soul.

p/s: Maaf rakan-rakan. Aku sedang melalui fasa yang sangat sukar dalam hidup. Aku harap kamu semua faham. And thanks for ur unconditional supports. Thank u very much.

Shafuraa Onn.

Saturday, April 16, 2011


Sumpah wa tak boleh nak concentrate. Melayang weyh fikiran, memang tak fokus habis. In other words, live-less gila. Damn lah, wa ade exam on Tues and Monday kena pass-up tesis yang dah ber-edit.

For the last three weeks memang dah ada rasa cmni dalam diri wa. Entah. Maybe bila busy dan xde masa buat diri sendiri buat wa rasa serabut gila. Physically memanglah macam biasa (except for mata wa yang dah rupa bola golf bila nanges banyak sangat), tp deep inside, mesti sendiri je yang benar2 tahu apa dirasai. Boleh je share ngan orang lain, tp depa pun maybe ada problem lain juga. Lagipun sekarang exam week. So, what else to expect?

Almost 22 years of living, wa x pernah rasa cmni. UPSR, PMR, SPM, Matrix final exam tu semua wa xde lah score sgt and x pernah pun jadi top scorer. Sedih sikit-sikit tu memang inevitable kan. Tapi senang nak recover. But this time around, disappointment wa semakin menjadi-jadi. Macam dah jatuh, before dapat diri betul2, dah jatuh lagi dan lagi. Penatlah.

I'm not talking about grades here, I'm talking about self-disappointment. Bila lu dah buat sesuatu tu separuh gila/mati, tp tak menjadi seperti yang diharapkan ataupun lu melakukan kesilapan yang sebenarnya boleh dielakkan, lu jadi down. Hah. Itu yang wa rasa. Lepas hampir setahun melakukan kerja yang boleh buat kepala crash, muka penuh jerawat, mata lebam panda serta bergaris halus, badan dehydrated dan rambut gugur, eh satu lagi, kena gigit dengan pacat, this is what I got? Tambah pulak wa rasa wa dah mengecewakan orang lain, the feeling is just extremely awful.

Bila dah banyak yang wa nampak tu semuanya negatif je, confirmlah setan dok tepi hasut-hasut lagi. So sekarang wa tak tahu apa yang irresistable; setan atau pemikiran sendiri. Tapi dua-dua pun dah menghantui diri, siap dah rushes thru segala vein dan masuk dalam darah.

Wa rasa kosong. Hah. Kosong is the perfect word. Bila fikir-fikir balik, ada soalan cmni terjah "Yang kaw dok meroyan cm orang mati laki tu dah kenapa? Hidup, biasalah. Ada ups and downs. Kalau senang bukan life namanya. Hidup kaya macam Mark Zukerberg pun belum tentu happy. Lagipun, we cant see rainbows without a little rain, ye dak?"

Macam nilah. Wa rasa ada dua 'sides' dalam diri sekarang ni. Satu, menghentam. Contoh monolog diri "kalau lu buat kerja dengan sehabis kritikal mesti segala silly mistakes yang bila kumpul2 menyebabkan banyak markah hilang boleh dielakkan. Takde lah lu menyesal cmni". Lagi satu side ialah yang memujuk. Monolog dalaman "biasalah buat silap. Pastu belajar dari kesilapan. Kita kan manusia biasa bla bla bla..."

Sah-sah la susah nak ikut yang positive tu. =.=

Perlu menenangkan fikiran. Semak ah.

p/s: Mcm nak jogging coz lama dah asyik ternak lipid. Kalaulah jogging tu boleh buat wa hilang ingatan pasal bende yang berlaku nih, dah lama wa jogging selalu. Pfffttt.

Shafuraa Onn. 1720. 160411. PTSL UKM Bangi.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Dear diary

I was inspired by vampires. Starting from now onwards, I'll keep a DIARY. :)

Shafuraa Onn. 120411. 0141. UKM Bangi.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


What a coincidence of her latest post with what I'm feeling right now as these fit my current situation like hell much. Thanks Lord Zara. I love reading your entries. :D

" Cemburu.
Emosi yang biasanya tercetus akibat rasa kurang senang, kurang selamat yang biasanya menjurus ke arah negatif disebabkan takut kehilangan sesuatu - kalau dalam konteks hubungan sesama manusia, ia lebih kepada hubungan manusia dengan manusia. Kebiasaannya juga, cemburu adalah cetusan daripada gabungan beberapa emosi seperti marah, malu dan juga kecewa.

Ini juga boleh diibaratkan sebagai salah satu elemen dalam perhubungan. Tidak kira dalam hubungan cinta, hubungan kekeluargaan, sesama rakan, saudara atau sesiapa sahaja. Kita tidak dapat menolak bahawa sifat cemburu itu adalah sebahagian daripada sifat dalam manusia itu sendiri.

Cemburu ini ada sedikit persamaannya dengan cinta secara literasinya. Benda yang baik, dalam kuantiti sedikit akan memberikan kesan baik, tetapi jika terlampau banyak, ia akan menyeksakan

p/s: Need to wake up & grow up.

Shafuraa Onn. 100411. 1650. UKM Bangi.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Kalaulah aku tak membesar... :p

Dah dah. Takyah nak nanges2 dok bgtau semua orang wa sedara yg jahat sbb x wish lu punya bday. :p

Wa memang dah berniat sejak subuh 11 Januari 1987 yang wa nak jadi orang last yang wish lu punya bday. Wa harap wa berjaya. :p

Nah. Ni sajak ringkas sempena Hari Keputeraan lu yang ke-22. Eh. 22? Wa ingat dah 45. :p

Selamat Hari Jadi – Malay (Baizura Kahar. Alamak. Dia dah kawen. Tu la, sp soh lu lahir lambat, kan x dapat usha. ;p)

Ubetydelig - Danish (Lu suka Agger kan. :p)

Verwaarlozen – Dutch (Lu kan suke Kuyt. :p)

Joyeux anniversaire – French (YNWA lagi, Ngog. :p)

Buon compleanno- Italian (Grosso. Seb bek Juventus. ;p)

생일 축하 – Korean (Yang ni sama cm wa jugak, lu suke Kim Hyun Joong. :p)

Feliz Aniversário – Portuguese (Lu kan macam wa, suka gila kat Ronaldo. :p)

Vernachlässigbar – German (Lahm. Seb bek Bayern Munich. Kalau YNWA lagi tak tahulah. ;p)

سالگرہ مبارک ہو - Urdu (Bahasa kebangsaan lu. ;p)

Feliz Cumpleaños – Spanish (Reina, YNWA. Again?? ;p)

незначительный – Russian (Yelena Isinbayeva. Peh. Akhirnya lu tak dapat kawal diri drpd minat sorang awek. ;p)

สุขสันต์วันเกิด – Thai (Tempat lahir lu. ;p)

Happy 22nd Birthday, Muhammad Hafizuddin Abdul Rahman.
عيد ميلاد سعيد برك الله فيك

Thanks for being born. Thanks for everything. May happiness guide you all the way. Amin.

p/s: Wa igt nak buat 54 bahasa, cm no. kat jersi lu. Tapi wa x abes nuntut lagi. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 050411. 2350. UKM Bangi.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Bunga putih

Masa dinner tadi ada bunga hidup. Pastu kitorang dok main-main lah dengan bunga tu. Tp tu dorg je, wa tak main pun bunga tu, wa jahanamkan dia. Hahaha ;P

Cara wa rosakkan dia? Senang je. >.<

Wa dapat ilham. Pernah tak korang cabut satu-satu kelopak bunga tu and ckp "nak ke tak" or bende2 yang lain? Macam nak tak nak tak....sambil patahkan kelopak bunga. Then the final say yang last kelopak punya lah.

Wa buat macam tu tadi. Tp wa tak cakap nak tak nak tak. Wa cakap nama dua orang, alternately. Ada tiga tangkai semua skali. So berkecahlah tempat wa dengan kelopak bunga warna putih.

Guess what? Ketiga-tiga tangkai bunga tu bagi the same name masa kelopak yang terakhir. What a coincidence kan. :D

Shafuraa Onn. 040311. 0028. UKM, Bangi.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Seliparku putus

It was a lovely Tuesday when I wore a baju kurung with my favourite slipper. I was heading to Pusanika, along with Zeti and Tira to get some business done. While walking, I stepped onto a hard cement, and…my slipper, rooted out. Again?? Pfffttt. I just got it attached the weekend before, yes, it has broken twice. And this time around, it couldn’t be fixed any longer.

Yes, I’m a bit aggrieved. Coz I bought it in Aussie, as a token of that place. I still keep the receipt, it was in George Street on 30th of Nov 2009, meaning that I’ve used it for only one and a quarter years.

Now I have nothing I bought there. The red bag is on its way of degrading itself, oh gosh, I bought it in S’pore. Yes, its bitterly true that I have nothing else I purchased in Sydney. Takde kenangan dah. Isk. :’(

---> Other reason for loving this slipper? It reminds me of the salesman. He's a green-eyed grown-up man. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 0103. 290311. UKM Bangi.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


I've been watching Finale of Raja Lawak Season 5 (youtube) again and again. I dont have any favourites on that show, but I just love the chemistry between the MCs, Zizan and Johan. I just cant stop laughing, they're just ridiculously hilarious. ;)

Its 24th of March, the day Eqa was born 20 years ago. Happy Birthday kid. May Allah bless you with happiness, longevity and prosperity. Since u're in Aries horoscope, I found these for you. My future bro-in-law might be having one of these four zodiac since I only selected those with the most compatibility with an Arian. ;P


"They won’t bore each other because both love to talk. And they share a special compatibility, for Gemini is as restless and anxious to try new things as Aries is. There are no inhibitions on either side. Aries is initially attracted by this good looking, and socially amusing person but the Arian desire to dominate the person and the situation will quickly bring out the rebellious tendencies of Gemini that are always lurking just beneath the surface. Both minds mesh well; Aries is dynamic and intelligent, Gemini is versatile and ingenious. Aries is likely to be the leader sexually, and Gemini delights in thinking up variations to keep Aries’s interest at a peak. The signals are definitely go. As a partnership this duo could work out very well as the air sign is of the mental group, mechanically inclined, marketing, etc. combine this with the ability of Aries to interact with the public then you will have a good partnership in the making; throw in one of the earth signs to keep the finances well in order and you will be ’in business’."


"Aries’s boldness should intrigue shy, reserved Virgo for a time. Aires’s passions are impulsive and direct. Virgo’s sexuality is more enigmatic and takes time to be revealed. In other areas Aries is full of exciting new plans and ideas, and insists on being boss. Virgo is critical and fussy, and likes things to be done the way Virgo wants. Virgo disapproves of Aires’s extravagance; Bossy Aries will not take kindly to the criticisms of Virgo, even if they are well meant, as they will undermine the Arian sense of discovery and throw the Arian into a depression. They end up making war, not love. On the other hand if Aries and Virgo can develop mutual hobbies and habits they will have a common ground for basing a relationship on but without this type of sharing then their life together would become unbearable for each of them. A partnership between Aries and Virgo could work out very well with Virgos logical mind constantly calculating the best moves and the Arian willingness to work hard, as long as Aries is given free rein in the scope of his/her agreed upon responsibilities."


"Sagittarius is a perfect temperamental match for Aries. They are both active, spontaneous people who like socializing, have extravagant tastes in common, and enjoy the good life. For this reason there will probably be an instant attraction on the part of these two that could last a very long time, although Aries may doubt the Sagittarians ability to make a success of a long term commitment and in turn, Sagittarius could believe that Aries is ideal as long as Aries accepts the Sagittarians idea of freedom. Arguments can reach the boiling point. However, they have wonderful senses of humor and enjoy each other’s company. Being too much alike in moods and temperament will prevent these two from becoming good one on one business partners, but working on a team with other players in their key niches, you will find them as very good friends.


"Fire and water do not normally mix and that is why the Aries with Pisces love match could be a complex relationship. Aries will draw Pisces out of that shell, and in turn will be hypnotized by Pisces’ seductive and mysterious sexuality. Pisces will need the Arians strength and ability to comfort when Pisces is tired or disillusioned and just when Aries gets used to being depended on, Pisces will pull an about face and suddenly become independent and free spirited (but only for short periods!). The boldness and confidence of Aries plus Pisces’ intuitions and fantasies add up to an eventful union. Personality differences complement each other. Aries is self-assured and vivacious; Pisces is somewhat shy and easily led. Aries likes to be dominant, Pisces likes having someone to lean on. For a happy coupling this requires only a little more tact on Aries’s part. You could safely say that this is a match made in Heaven! This could make a good business partnership as the piscean, being the emotional water sign in the design group, could get along well with the fire sign in the inspirational (idea) group. Pisces will generally not mind if the Arian wants to be the boss."

This tips might help (really? haha). If one of the above statement is true, it is just a coincidence. Jodoh pertemuan kan di tangan Tuhan, kita berusaha & berdoa sajalah. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 240311. 0325. UKM Bangi.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Big T

Trust. A tiny word and yet, gives rise to numbers of definitions, perspectives and also personal views. For myself, I believe that trust is a guerdon, it is something to earn. To be reliant 100% towards other people is just not-so-me. And its not because they cant be trusted, its just something hard for me to completely reward one to someone. There must be some doubts left secluded in either my head, heart, or both.

The entire situation is sort of complicated to explain. Idk. I’m doubtful and clueless. Maybe I don’t really know you. And maybe, I don’t understand you enough. Yes, maybe.

Or you might have this as your sentiment - secrets are something everyone holds. If this's the case, I got it. I’d never cross the line, I'd always respect ur stand.

p/s: Currently addicted to Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri. Oh noooo. This song's got nothing to do with all three paragraphs above. :)

Shafuraa Onn. 220311. 0352. UKM, Bangi.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


"Kawan sejati akan menjaga kita seperti seorang ibu, marah kita seperti seorang bapa, kacau kita seperti seorang kakak, buat kita meluat seperti seorang abang dan akan menyayangi kita lebih dari seorang kekasih."

By Lord Zara.

Shafuraa Onn. 150311. 1732. UKM Bangi.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Yes, its true.

"Jangan kau kira cinta itu datang dari keakraban yang lama dan pendekatan yang tekun. Cinta adalah anak kecocokan jiwa, dan jika itu tak pernah ada,cinta tak pernah tercipta dalam hitungan tahun bahkan abad."

Jadi, kalau kau kata kau kenal lama pun, itu tak bermakna dia adalah jodoh kau.

*quoted from Lord Zara*

Shafuraa Onn. 130311. 1416. UKM Bangi.

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Current crush goes to.....


Auwww auwwww. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 110311. 0053. UKM Bangi.

Sunday, March 6, 2011


Orang cakap wa susah senyum, dengan erti kata lain, sombong. How far is it true, I'm not sure. But as hard as for me to smile, strangely enough, its fucking easy for me to laugh! Idk, finding something hilarious is so effortless. ;)

Laughing is easy, but crying is even easier. Reason to lose some tears? Many. The most childish one would be MU. Yes Manchester United. It was two years ago when I called a friend and cried due to MU's defeat. I couldnt recall to whom, most probably Chelsea. "Gila ke ape dia ni. Pasal bola pun nak nangis. Pe kejadahnya." Tak, wa tak nangis everytime MU kalah, mana macho seyh cenggitu. Wa akan frust gila tertonggeng kalau wa ternanti-nanti match tu sampai x boleh tido malam sebab dah lama x tengok MU lawan (biasa ah wa busy, haha) pastu bila tengok, MU pun bermain macam budak sekolah. Pastu sah-sah la kalah. Pastu wa pun akan down gila ah. Betul ni, down the road gila. Dengan erti kata lain, kecewa nak mati.

The same thing goes to Ronaldo, not Real Madrid. I'm not that into Spanish League, but CR is so irresistable. So bila ada match, wa akan nervous gila tengok Ronaldo perform. Kalau dia main well, wa happy sampai ke bulan. Kalau dia men jatuh golek-golek ala hindustan je selama 90 minit tu, haaa, wa akan sedih gila jugak. Last time wa sedih masa RM kalah 5-0 dgn Barca. Masa tu memang dah bergenang air mata wa nih. Tapi tengok kat mamak, malu ah kalau wa melalak kat situ. Recent news wa baca kat papar, Ronaldo hatrik and Real menang 7-0 ke atas sape tah. Tengok, bila wa tak tengok menang pulak, Siap dia gol banyak lagi. Tapaham seyh.

So kesimpulannya, wa down gila ni. MU kalah 3-1 tadi kat Anfield (tapi wa x nangis ah, betul x tipu. sebab wa tgk kat cafe, ramai orang T.T). The same week, last Tuesday, MU kalah kat Stamford Bridge 2-1. What a tragic week for us, kan MU kan. :'(

p/s: Wa kena berkabung ni. Kena lah pakai tudung putih seminggu. Ala, wa tak suka pakai tudung putih, x masuk ah.

---> Ni pic wa masa kecik dulu. Comel kan? Tahu dah. :p (sejak bila pulak rambut wa kaler perang, berangan lebih.)

Shafuraa Onn. 070311. 0044. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Suka Khairul



1) Oh The Other Khairul. I'm totally in love with ur writing. Jom bercinta nak? ;)
2) Its 25th! Happy bday Abah! May Allah bless u. *hugs*

Shafuraa Onn. 0006. 250211. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Ya Allah, untuk aku yang mempunyai iman senipis kulit bawang, ujianMu kali ini benar-benar mengujiku. Aku lemah dan langsung tidak berdaya. Ya Allah, tabahkanlah dan redhakanlah hatiku. Ya Allah, temuikanlah aku dengan jalan penyelesaian kepada masalahku ini. Sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui apa yang berlaku dan apa yang aku rasakan. Dan Kau sebaik-baik tempat mengadu.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Shafuraa Onn. 150211. 2253. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Busy Bee

February might be a fabulous month for some people, but it is certainly a vice versa chronology of days for me. This is why :-

9th : Ichthyology Midsem Exam

10th: Animal Behaviour Midsem Exam

11th: Genetic Trip to Mardi Serdang

17th: Animal Behaviour Fieldwork

18th: Conservation of Genetic Resources Midsem Exam

19th: Genetic Trip to Kuala Gandah

21st: Analysis Stat Midsem Exam

24th: Animal Behaviour Fieldwork

25th: Ichthyology Fieldwork

And I have only March to do my thesis coz I ought to hand it over on April Fool. :(

I should be burning some midnight's oil later. Wish me luck people! :D

Shafuraa Onn. 080211. 2252. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Wondering why

Why oh why.

Case 1:
Lets say someone used to like you. But you dont like him/her and you just wanna befriend with that person. Then time flies by. Suddenly you came to know he/she is attached. Nak tak nak, terasa lah jugak. Why? Kita tak suka pun orang tu mula-mula. Then why jealous? If not, sad? Or maybe feeling uneasy?

I asked my sister. She said it is due to divided and limited attention. Initially, we were the apple of one's eyes and in a blink of time, that situation changes when that person has somebody else. Thats the reason why we feel waived. And maybe, thats about it.

Case 2:
You used to have a crush on someone. Then, the feeling is sort of fades away when you dont really see him/her any longer. But when you know someone else is getting closer to that person, you're feeling mad. Or unsatisfied. And once again, why this happens?

Question mark rises up on my head.

Shafuraa Onn. 040211. 2307. Bandar Baru UDA, Johor Bahru.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Cuti buat ape? tesis okeyh. :p

No. This isnt about my thesis. Title lies. :p Oh. I'm writing my drugs out. Here's how:

1. Taylor Swift's Back To December.
"So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smiles.
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I’d love you right
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So if the chain is in your door I understand."

2. Bruno Mars's Talking To The Moon.
"I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
I want you back
My neighbours think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I have.

Talking to the Moon
Try to get to you
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon."

3. Enrique Iglesias's Why Not Me
"Escaping nights without you with shadows on the wall
My mind is running wild tryin hard not to fall
You told me that you love me but say I’m just a friend
My heart is broken up into pieces

Cos I know I’ll never free my soul
It’s trapped between true love and being alone
When my eyes are closed the greatest story told
I woke and my dreams are shattered here on the floor

Why oh why tell me why not me
Why oh why we were meant to be
Baby I know I could be all you need
Why oh why oh why

I wanna love you
If you only knew how much I love you
So why not me..."

Oh nooo. These songs above have nothing to do with my personal life. I just love the lyrics and the song beats. And for Taylor Swift, I'm not that into her. But I do think she's capable of putting her entire feelings into words exactly. And thats mesmerizing enough. Man, she's still young! :D

Shafuraa Onn. 040211. 0138. Bandar Baru UDA, Johor Bahru.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Not only human (naturally), school is also single-sex. HAHA :p

Single sex school is part of my early life and also one of the reasons I’m able to be in university right now. Not saying that it’s a guarantee for future success though, but, without education there, I don’t think I’d be growing up as a useful human.

SIGS – Sultan Ibrahim Girls School, Johor Bahru. The place I’ve so many memories about. Teachers, friends, seniors & juniors, sports day, assembly in a very hot hall, and on top of all, the prefectorial board I was in for four consecutive years.

Miss Bulwinder Kaur, the most unforgettable teacher I’ve ever had. She’s just hilarious and incredible! When she first entered my class, we students couldn’t understand her words coz she spoke so damn fast! And its surprising that she was able to maintain the perfect Malay language (she isn’t a Malay), and yes, she was my Form 5 teacher for that subject. I’ve never enjoyed learning BM in my life, but she has successfully changed that. An-hour-lesson seemed like only 10 minutes. And the best part was, we weren’t just studying it. But we could also see the beauty of our mother-tongue in an enjoyable way.

Seniors & juniors – Hoho. Some might have negative thoughts of all-girls and all-boys schools. I remembered a time when there was a proposal to government saying that single-sex-school should be banned as cases of wrong sexual orientation increased, which means people blamed this type of education centre for the introduction of gays and lesbians in the society. I’m not going to deny it, coz some of the justifications are right. But one thing I’m very sure about, the pros of having my kind of school are far greater than the cons. And sometimes, students get confused about their own identity and preference and I believe this as a part of growing up to know what you really are. What I’m seeing right now is, more and more of boyish girls in my school are returning straight. Rough appearance remains outside, and their inner self are still completely women basic instinct.

It has been sort of a ‘culture’ to the students of my school to write small cute notes to our seniors & juniors. I mean, we play favoritisms. Cute, popular ones would always be the apple of some eyes. They’d be given birthday presents, dedications, wishes, notes and much more. I don’t think this is harmful, and I see this as sisterhood. We left school, but our friendship remains alive. :D

Sports day is being held annually, usually at the beginning of a year. All kinds of practices are being done – marching, bands, cheering, decorations and what not. I was involved in the marching of prefect squad for three years if I’m not mistaken. All marching squads would follow the beats played by the bands. My school’s band is quite well-known in my district. Then cheerleaders. Their voices are hell loud! Coz in order to win, judges must hear the cheers. So just imagine how big a stadium is, and cheering girls of each house (blue, red, yellow, green) would be on the opposite from the grand stand where the judges would be in. And they could not stop yelling, shouting and cheering until the end of everything. Now you know why students of all-girls schools have men’s voices. ;)

I was the Vice Secretary of Prefectorial Board when I was in Form 3 and Vice President later when I was in Form 5. Though conducting assembly wasn’t something new for me back then, I’d still get stage fright in front of everybody, especially if it’s Monday. The principal would be there, sometimes the scripts were altered last minute, and if worst ever, the school song’s cd failed to play and we prefects couldn’t find a pianist. So before the assembly starts, we’d always check everything out. But sometimes, things did happen outside of our control, especially when it comes to electronic devices. And I was a Science-stream student, so how the hell did I ever know about wires and plugs?? HAHA. ;p

I’m thankful for everything I had, and I believe I’d not be where I am today without facing those experiences before. And on top of all, I’m extremely grateful that I was raised up in a single-sex school. Coz I’d never ever had to pretend, it makes me, ME. :D

Shafuraa Onn. 270111. 0013. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.


Its Wednesday, which means I’ve been taking Paracetamol for straight three days, Uphamol were taken on Monday & Tuesday, and I just took Soluble just now. I’m well aware that this isn’t good, but my head seems to be spinning few times. The pain didn’t last all day long, but it made me feel dizzy. Sometimes, one side of my head felt heavier than the other one. And some other time, the pain just rushed through all over my head.

I’ve never been diagnosed to be having migraine before, so I’m not sure if this is the starting point. But I hope it isn’t. I’ll be heading to Rompin this Friday with the lab crews, and I don’t wanna be a burden to anyone. Therefore, I’m praying to be healthy at least until the day I go back home, maybe on next Tuesday. The sampling would always be tiresome for everyone as many things to get done, and I’d be miserable if they have to take care of me if I got sick. So yeah, pills would go on the top list in things-to-bring for the trip this time around!

I just finished watching Personal Taste, a Korean drama series. It wasn’t too entertaining, but one thing I can be certain of, is that Korean story line, actor, and actress have never failed to amuse me how sweet they are. They are very passionate to each other; towards partners, parents, siblings or non-blood-ties humans. Though the story line might be something people created, I feel it is the culture of Koreans to portray affectionateness. And I do think this is a good example everyone should learn about. Love others and wars would no longer exist, just like the message in ’21 Guns’ by the Greenday.

Thats probably all for now. Need to finish up something else. Tc friends & haters. :D

Shafuraa Onn. 260111. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Monday, January 17, 2011

I'm a human lah, not vampires!

Truthfully ever speaking, there are some people I'm hating right now, but I dont hate just that, I've got my own reasons. And yes, I can be so damn devilish to spit mouthful of bad words to them, but I just cant, at least not eye-to-eye. No, its not because I pity them, its too much to ask from me, but I'm a normal human being. They hurt you, u felt extremely bad and u're hoping the same goes to them, just like the phrase 'what u give, u got back.'

I dont really care if someone or two or three or more hate me. Coz I'd be hating them a whole heck of a lot more. Yes, this world had enough of wars and it needs peace, but who actually barks at a sleeping dog? I wont be bothered if I didnt get disturbed at the very first place.

No, I wont do any harm or physical abuse towards people I'm planting my hatreds on. Nor I'd be sending viruses so that their laptops get corrupted as well as their thesis files. Its childish and not classy. The most I'd be doing, is watching from far if they're struggling. The Almighty always remember us, does He? Its Carma, u step on others once, they step back on u twice. Or even worse that u dont wanna complete ur life.

Its really pathetic if I see someone brings people down just to make him/her feels better of own-self. I came across few. But I was raised up with humanity value that keeps me from being a bullshit, so like I said, I'll just be watching. And I know this isnt noble, but I cant help myself from enjoying the awfully entertaining rewards they obtain themselves from being thats-why-people-hate-you person. They ought to learn from their mistakes. Life is the ultimate teacher afterall!

Whenever I'm mad, my friends would console me. And I'm thankful for that. They got me back into senses. But to not be having any feelings after some conflicts, it really requires some time off, some breaks. One of my buddies said, 'its ur experience for now, treasure it. You'd be glad someday that u've encountered it before.' I find this is true, but somehow being neutral doesnt flow in my way just yet. Maybe it will, in future who knows.

Oh dont worry. I can accept advices, oh, only from those I trust. And trust is earned. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 1801111. 0336. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Pengalaman pertama 150111

Chewahhh. Tajuk taboleh blaaa. :p

Wa xde la baik sgt nak tunjuk wa smayang ke hape. But I’m posting this out coz its my own experience. I don’t wanna forget this incident, so bila-bila bosan boleh baca balik dan tersenyum sendiri. ;)

Selalunya hari Sabtu ada pasar malam kat area shell dekat ngan ukm. So akibat kebosanan melampau, wa ngan zeti pn pergilah ke sana. Kat sini barang2 murah, tudung 10 bucks je. Kalau kat jb jangan haraplah. Kat angsana tu tudung mahal gila. Memanglah material x sama, tp wa x tgk sangat. Like how far can a piece of cotton really satisfy you? So asalkan wa nampak ok bila pakai pastu colour pun cm best, wa beli je lah. Ok, dah lari tajuk sebenarnya.

Tengah-tengah jalan, hujan lebat gila. Of course la ktorg x bawak payung. So ktorg berteduh kat 1 gerai beg ni. Hujan makin lebat, xde tanda-tanda nak reda. Masa ni dah 7 lebih. Tunggu punya tunggu, dah 7.30. Wa takut maghrib abes, so wa suggest kat zeti redah je hujan sebab wa plan nak solat kat Shell. Sebenarnya wa x igt shell ada surau ke x sbb before ni x pernah terjadi macam ni. So ktorg redah je. Habis lencun tapi apa boleh buat. Sampai kat Shell tudung sme dah senget-benget. Orang dok pandang je, msti dorg dok cakap ‘gila ape mereka nih.’ Hahaha

Pastu ktorg bergegas cari surau. On the way ke surau, terjumpa toilet. Wa igt nak masuk, jap lagi wa ternampak org tengah kencing sbb dia x tutup pintu (toilet laki opposite toilet pompuan). Abes hilang virgin mata wa nih. Hahaha wa x jadi masuk toilet tu. Then jumpa surau. Lega. Jap lagi, ktorg perasan yang signboard dia tulis ‘surau’ je, xde gambar laki ke pompuan. So macam hesitate nak masuk. Ngendap punya ngendap, takde orang. Apa lagi, ktorg cepat-cepat masuk dan kunci so that orang laki x bole masuk sebab kat tepi kiri kanan ada orang laki berdiri tunggu hujan reda.

Bila masuk je, alamak, xde tempat wuduk. Memang kecik je surau tu. Takpelah, wa pun terfikir nak g toilet tadi. Sampai je toilet, pintu toilet pompuan kunci. Adeh. Dugaan lagi. Time ni dah 7.45 kot. Wa pun g kedai serbaneka shell tu dan beli mineral water. Then masuk dalam surau balik. Pastu terfikir, cmne nak amek wuduk nih? Kang basah surau sebab dia mmg simen yg beralas. Yang ade hanya sejadah 2 helai. Takde tempat nak tuang air ke ape. Kang kalau wa amik air smayang kat pintu surau semua org tengok sbb ramai org. Semua pun dok tunggu hujan reda.

Then zeti cakap ‘aku pegang plastic, kaw amek air smayang.’ Kira wa jirus muka tangan semua, air masuk dalam plastic tu. Ok settle. Lepas amik wuduk, baru perasan xde telekung! Dugaan yang ketiga. Sudaaahh, cmne nih. Fikir punya fikir, wa dpt idea. Wa beli cadar baru sbb wa terbakarkan cadar org, hahaha. Wa iron tudung atas katil budak tu, jap lg terbakar. Wa dah janji nak ganti cadar lain, so yeah, wa pun beli la 1 set cadar siap dengan sarung bantal & sarung bantal peluk yg panjang tuh. So wa amek sarung bantal peluk tu dan sarung kat kaki. Gila style belang2 colour2. Hahaha then wa pakai tudung zeti sebab masa tu dia pakai tudung yang main sarung je, tudung ekin la kot nama dia. So labuh la jugak. Luckily masa tu wa pakai long-sleeve, kalau tak wa mesti dah selibung 1 badan dgn cadar baru tu. Hahaha wa yakinkan diri yang wa dalam keadaan bersih, then wa solat Maghrib dan berdoa agar diterima amalan oleh Tuhan Yang Esa. Cewahhhh. ;)

Lepas abes semua, wa dengar ade org soksek-soksek kat luar. So ktorg cepat-cepat siap. Ade org lain nak masuk. Orang lelaki yang dah lama tunggu kat tepi surau kot. Mesti dia pn dah lame dok usha tu surau laki ke pompuan, tp biasalah, ladies first kan, baru gentleman. :D

So, tu jelah wa nak cerita. Sehingga kita berjumpa lagi pada hari & waktu yang sama. Assalamualaikum & selamat beramal! :D

Shafuraa Onn. 170111. 0436. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Like any other girl facing, its the time of the month, so please understand if emotions are running high right now. Not to make it as an excuse, but frankly speaking, it has some effects.

Ok. Curtains fell for AJL25 about 1.5 hours ago. And yes, I'm not satisfied with the results. To me, it was the best show ever in the history of nation music industry, but its moment of truth was heart-breaking. I dont really get why Faizal Tahir (FT) wasnt even in Top 3. Plus, Hafiz winning the best vocals was a bit what? He earned that, u've got to be kidding me right? Then Ana Raffali (AR)? Gosh. Jaw-dropping 35K for that kinda song? Yes, I'm a tune blind but I'm not in deaf ears.

I can nod my head if Black or A.P.I (Lan & Noh) won the best vocals. And Hanyut should be the second-runner up at least. Of course I'd want it to win everything, but if I were to choose one else, it'd be Drama King or Shahir's Kebahagiaan Dalam Perpisahan.

Yep, maybe the trophy was fated for AR. And FT is still my preference other than Datuk Siti Nurhaliza. As for now, only these two mesmerize me with their pieces. I hope losing this will give FT a booster to try harder in future. You know how much fans love & support u all the way. ♥

Its always been some thoughts for my daughter's name (every time I love someone's alphabets, I'd wish to have it on my offspring, hahaha). But now I have an idea for my son's . Its RAFFALI. Though I sorta disapprove AR as the ultimate winner, I do find her father's name attractive. Hahaha :D

So, InsyaAllah, its gonna be Muhammad Raffali bin ....... coming out of love in the future. Auwwww *jiwang gilaaa* :p

To be continued. ;)

Shafuraa Onn. 100111. 0159. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM Bangi.