Tuesday, April 27, 2010

2nd yr, stop!

yesterday marked a stop to my 2nd-yr journey in UKM. and of course, I was overwhelmed to the fact that I'll be entering my final yr next sem! omg, time flies damn so fast. I was packing my things when I saw a temporary student card which was used during my orientation week last 24 months. the nerdy innocent face of mine was clearly portrayed on that. oh, I cant hold my laughs anymore! haha

nevertheless, despite being extremely ecstatic and anxious of becoming a final-year student, deep inside, I personally think that my period of enjoying my days has also officially ended by now. I didnt play much during my first two semesters here as I was still adapting to new environment, new friends and what not. as for next 270 days starting early July this yr, there's no time for lepak-ing in the malls or going nuts while watching EPL anymore coz doing thesis can really pull ur hair upwards and I bet I'll be on the go all the time. It may sound like a white lie coz of course, I personally am unable to resist doing those two, but like I've been told earlier by some lecturers and seniors, thesis-making is so very complicated. thus, I guess my time for other less necessary things will be limited.

I've done 70% of clearing my stuff out of the closet and I'll be in my hometown, InsyaAllah by tomorrow. it has been a while since I last met my sisters and I really miss them. and I miss everything in jb- home, ma, abah, tokyem, toknah, food and even my topsy-turvy room! the messiness in there makes my heart grows even fonder. haha :D

oh god! I just found out about a second ago that my crush has chopped down his hair! he is now bald! I repeat, BALD! waaaa, I cant imagine! and I dont want to! haha

shafura onn. 2.59 pm, 28/4/10. kolej ungku omar,ukm,bangi

Saturday, April 24, 2010


now its down to two more exams! wootwoot! i'm very much anxious for some breaks and eventually my holidays will kick its butt starting from 27th evening onwards. 1-week-exam-gap makes me lazy, as it triggers my mood of watching dramas all over again, plus, searching for gossips and what not. time flies like flash and suddenly, I'm on weekends! I was supposed to yell "weeehoooo" but unfortunately, weekends dont give any meaning if u just stay in ur room, looking at the disastrous notes, as the next exam will be on Monday. Can Monday be more likeable?

anyhow, it seems like I cant enjoy much of my 3-month-off-books period as I'll have to go to Pahang, again. but this time around, its not for fieldwork, but its for my thesis. yes, u guys arent reading any wrong. As I'll be entering my final yr next term, I'd have to start collecting data for the thesis. therefore, I'll be in Pahang for a fortnight, if things go well. if not, I'll ought to stay there longer. but nevermind, the place promises me a beach, so I guess starfishes will be my friends soon. :)

I have to stop now. the books are calling like hell. toodles people!

btw, MU won their third last match over Tottenham, 3-1! weehooo! chels, u better be careful. :P

shafura onn. 9.37 pm, 24/4/10. kolej ungku omar,ukm,bangi

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


these are what I've been feeling for recent days:

1. insecure
2. sad
3. hatred
4. uneasy
5. what? pehal lu nak sibuk?

bak kata nidji, roda memang sudah berputar. I'm now believing in that. I really do.

shafura onn. 10.37 pm, 21/4/10. kolej burhanuddin helmi,ukm,bangi.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


it has been days since I last shitted on the previous post. life's good, and it couldnt be any greater. since my next two papers will be on another week, I guess its time for me to unwind a bit. alahaiii, cakap macam study banyak jek. did u forget that u slept for 12 hours last night? ;P

these are things I've been thinking/doing for the past 8 days:

1. I've been watching U'RE BEAUTIFUL like timesss. and I even memorized the scripts. not all, but only those I love hearing. :)

2. I've fallen in love, no, I guess its still early, thus I decided to put them only on my crush list. they're Jang Geuk Suk, Nicholas Hoult and Yoann Gourcuff. the 1st heart-melter is a Korean actor (oh I love looking at his angry face!), the 2nd hunk is an actor from 'The Clash of the Titans' and the last one is a footballer for France National Team. I guess I'd be voting for Portugal (Ronaldo in there) and France too for World Cup 2010, due to this new discovery of Mars creature.

3. I've downloaded songs as well as lyrics sang by JGS. as its written in Korean language, my tongue seems to meet my teeth everytime I try to sing along winamp. :-D

4. I've decided I'll do what I ought to do. when the right time comes, I'll definitely give it a shot. I must.

5. I dreamt of my used-to-be crush. he was beaten by culprits from my U. it didnt make any sense, did it? and to those who can actually rise meanings out of this dream plz shout out your comments ya. ;P

shafura onn. 2.46 am, 19/4/10. ukm,bangi.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

4th sem's exams

a guaranteed disaster will be hitting my days starting from tomorrow onwards until 27th of april '10. now i'm almost at the end of the term so there's nothing scarier than exams. i'll be on my final year next july and I MUST obtain good results this time.

i personally feel i'm quite motivated during this study week as library has been my port approximately for 5 days out of 7, compared to last three semesters which I didnt even step in the fifth-floored-building, not for once.

unfortunately, I think this is the first time (as far as I remember) I really feel insecure. I didnt get what I've learned, I failed to understand and I had this short-term memory loss. I forget my notes the next minute after reading them, and this is the saddest part of all. dulu pun bukannya pandai dapat 4flat segala, but at least boleh tulis something kat answer sheets tuh. but this time around, I feel different, totally different.

I told my friend about my case and she said this " hmmm. ada problem lain ke, dengan orang/kawan?". i said " problem tu sentiasa je ada, ada je benda yang boleh buat hilang mood semua, but I guess its still under-control."

anyhow, i'll try my best to get rid of any disturbance, any negative feelings and also any distractions near me. Dear Almighty, I've always believed U are the only ONE that gives me ups and downs, happiness and cry, ways and obstacles. and U are also the only ONE who can feel and understand me, as what I feel is UR gift. therefore, as UR slave, I'm praying for UR lights to brighten up shadowed path in front of me. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala urusanku dan keluargaku. Ameen. :)

shafura onn. 10.04 pm, 11/4/10. ukm,bangi.

Friday, April 9, 2010

happy yet hesitate?

Responding to my post on Monday, March 29 of this year entitled I'm crushing again!, here's the result:

yes, I MET him. 2 times. and I was over the moon, I was very much ecstatic! Dear Almighty, thank you for giving me this oppurtunities. and only YOU know how exactly I feel as I could sense happiness rushing thru my veins at that time, which eventually gave rise of smiles on my face. :-D

I promised myself I'd add him up in FB if I bump into him. and I met him, but I'm now hesitating as if I dont even know what I want before. thats pretty upsetting, but I do hope I can convince my own self.

Ya tuhan, yakinkanlah aku dengan instinct yang KAU berikan. Sesungguhnya KAU tidak pernah salah dalam menetapkan sesuatu takdir untuk hambaMU.

shafura onn. 12.54 am, 10/4/10. ukm,bangi.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Aku tersedar dari tidur yang memberikan mimpi yang susah difahami beberapa minit yang lepas dan lappy kini menunjukkan jam 3.45 pagi. “ Nak buat apa eh pagi-pagi nih?”, mindaku berdialog. “ Mungkin aku patut baca semula nota yang aku buat tadi, exam pun dah dekat”, hatiku menjawab. Yelah, x kenal x cinta kan. So why not familiarise kan diri dengan histo dan fisio supaya aku jatuh suka pada mereka. Nota diambil, baru lima baris ayat dibaca ketika mindaku berkata lagi, “ Esok je lah sambung baca. Aku x dapat nak concentrate”.

Study week bermula sejak Isnin lepas dan exam pertamaku, biometri dijadualkan 8 hari selepas itu. Oh biometri, susahnya nak faham kau. Teringat betapa blurrnya aku ketika terpandang formula CRD tadi. Hmmm, tak mengapalah. Esok cuba lagi. Kalau x boleh nak faham pun, harap-harap boleh hafal step-step pengiraannya.

Banyak sangat gangguan bila semester menunjukkan garisan penamatnya. Dan aku, seperti biasalah, senang sangat being carried away dengan perkara-perkara remeh yang patut dideletekan dari hipotalamus. (ye ke hipotalamus? Tak apalah kalau salah pun). Sesaat kemudian: Bukan hipotalamus lah, its amygdala [pronounced uh-MIG duh-luh] of the brain which was thought to store painful and emotion-related memories, and also initiates memory storage in other brain regions. So, nampaknya amygdala ku berfungsi dengan sangat cekap, ye lah, aku masih ingat segala insiden yang melibatkan emosi. :-D

Anyhow, aku sangatlah berharap yang tumpuanku kini dominan pada studyku sahaja. Aku x boleh nak main-main lagi kalau nak pakai red Peugeot 308 as my first car and the first pay should be able to buy Jimmy Choo’s shoes, Balenciaga handbag, shades of Dior, SK-II products, and not forgetting, buat hair treatment at A’Cut Above. Wahhh, what an exaggerating dream! ;-P

shafura onn. 5.10 am, 7/4/10. ukm,bangi.

Friday, April 2, 2010

tradisi kah? ;P

kawan: " puraa. asal kaw x penah couple lg eh? kaw lesbian eh?? "

saya: " hahahahaha kalau x couple tu maknenye lesbian la eh?? ;P "

to those who served me this question before, here's my answer.

I always have crush on people, I repeat ALWAYS. but love still hasnt met its way to me. I believed, it hasnt destined to me, yet. And maybe, its due to my own mindset, of which resulting from my background.

To have a family with 90% close relatives all around me, my grandparents of both sides live a stone's throw from my house as well as my uncles & aunts stay nearby, it has been a TRADITION (I guess) in my family to be attached to someone of the same origin or at least, state. and my mom did say something like this to me, " mama xnak org jauh." and when I said " kalau da jodoh mcm mane?", she said " kalau da jodoh terima je lah. tapi mama kalau boleh x nak." "klau boleh" of my mom means "have to". Nevertheless, just to prove that she’s flexible and not being pushy, my mom did extend her choice of state of son-in-law-to-be, its from JB to PAHANG. Maybe not pahang, its until KL. haha ;P

so everytime I'm in an almost relationship-to-be, its either that guy doesnt fit to be my other half or he might not be someone my mom's gonna like/ approve. I dont
wanna take any risks, so MAYBE its good to terminate a relationship before it went too far, before any hopes hanging on me. Kalau kertas yang dah bergam lama, pasti susah nak tanggal kan? thats the analogy.

Plus, I’ve never imagined myself staying far from my other flesh and blood. I’m not a mom’s pet or whatever u might term it, but I just want and ought to give her the feeling of secure ness. And after all, I personally think that my mom wants the best for her daughters. Syurga pun terletak bawah kaki ibu, so x salah lah kalau kita hanya nak buat dye bahagia, kan? ;D

I’m dedicating this post to whoever ever has a glance of thought of asking me this kind of question. So, there u go people. I officially lock my answer now. ;D

shafura onn