One month plus to my degree convocation in September and I dont feel excited, yet. After three years of slaving myself to memorising notes and graphs, I am now hesitating of what future will make out of me. And apparently, biology isnt me. It might be the apple of many doctors and surgeons' eyes, but as for myself, it doesnt define who I really am. I do love some parts of bio fields or subjects; the ones related to human and health always attract my attention. But those associated with nature, for instance, botany and environment, so far, dont mesmerize me any further. I realised that my passion and capabilities wont collide, thus making things more complicated. I love maths, but I couldnt solve differential equation and calculus. At times, I found myself getting indulged in reading histories and laws, but I somehow failed to remember which parties had involved in World War II. Writing is what fills my leisure time, but my Bahasa or English is getting worst, due to lack of practises. The one that never ever had or is going to be something I want to treasure is of course, anything thats got to do with softwares, computer skills and information technologies intelligence. That might also be one of the reasons why I am not into games, at all.
If I opt for lecturer or teaching line, I almost get my future guaranteed. But, I guess satisfaction is what I'm gonna miss. If it is business line of which I wanted to do for so long, I ought to be extremely strong (someone advised me so) as risks are everywhere. Or else, be a policewoman, making true of late Tokyem's wish.
I am, urmmm, at my wits ends. Maybe it is way in the future that makes me feel like ''ahh. Its not like i'm gonna settle down everything today so whats there to be worried about.'' The only issue here, how the hell am I gonna answer this ''done for ur degree. Have u applied for spa?'' or ''if u really wanna do masters, whats next? other than being a lecturer, i mean.''
Oh man. This hari raya will sure be hell exhausting explanation (or might be eyes blinking as well) i'd do.
SO. 150811. 1838. BBU, JB.