When I'm mad, I'd either keep quite or worst, cry.
I knew someone 3 yrs back, in matrix, whom I didnt really like. And the hatred grows thicker when he's destined as my course mate in university. Malaysia is small overall isnt it?
Now, I'm in my final year, and once again, I just couldnt run from meeting such a painful truth when he shares the same supervisor as mine. So yeah, we have to work together, and the time spent with each other are getting longer.
Why did I hate him from the first place? Coz he used to say something I was very furious about. And apparently, the unfinished grudges spread through my veins that each time we meet, we quarrel. It is just cant be helped.
Lately, the atmosphere seems to be like a volcano eruption. We had tongue-tied every 2 mins or less as I'm easily enraged by him. Yes, I'm tired, fed-up and it takes too much efforts to control my anger. Unfortunately, they failed.
I cried. Not because I feel bad towards him, but it is more to self-respect and dignity. I've lost self-pride. Coz it is shameful enough as many have witnessed myself scold him in public, it is an uncontrollable madness, u can see fire through my eyes when I'm talking to him. Yes, of course I feel terrible after our altercation, like I said, my own kindle burns me. But I really dont know why this happens and how to stop it. This is an unsolved puzzle that puzzles me a whole heck of a lot.
Shafuraa Onn. 011210. 0238. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Tv, Cinema, Newspapers
Those who've glued me to television, cinemas and newspapers are:
MALE
1. Cristiano Ronaldo (footballer) - I got number 7 in my email due to CR’s official jersey number.
2. Kim Hyun Joong – a Korean actor and the leader of SS501.
3. Faizal Tahir – a Malaysian singer. I’ve started liking him since OIAM.
4. Remy Ishak – a Malaysian actor.
5. Jang Geun Suk – he’s awesome in You’re Beautiful (Korean drama).
6. Adam Lambert – American Idol season 8 finalist
7. Riz Amin – played ‘Fahmi’ in SpaQ 2. I once met him in Sogo. Gosh. He’s well grown-up man.
8. Danny V (Project Runway) – the reason why my email is dannyme.
9. Jackson Rathbone – acted as Jasper in Twilight.
10. Casey James – American Idol contestant.
11. David Silva – a Spanish footballer.
12. Wu Zun – an actor in Taiwan but was born in Brunei. A member of a group called Fahrenheit.
13. Henry Golding – a television personality. And a model too.
14. Syed Hussein (Sein) of Ruffedge.
15. Syed Aiman – a Malaysian actor.
16. Enrique Iglesias – a Latin singer. I had eyes on him when I watched “Do You Know” music video.
17. Nicky Hayden – MotoGP racer
18. Arjun Rampal – who says I don’t watch Hindustan? Hahaha ;p
19. Muhammad Shaffik Rahman – footballer of Negeri Sembilan.
20. Rizal – played ‘Yusuf’ in Dunia Baru series.
21. Shahredza Minhat – ‘Fakir’ in the movie Pisau Cukur.
22. Xabi Alonso – used to play for Liverpool, now he is Ronaldo’s team-mate (Real Madrid).
23. Jonathan Rhys Meyes – actor & model for Hugo.
24. The Rock – a WWF wrestler. Hahaha ;) oh. He’s an actor too. ;P
25. Iqram Dinzly – a Malaysian actor.
26. Kimi Raikkonen – F1 driver.
27. Farid Kamil – I used to like him in the movie “Lagenda Budak Setan”.
FEMALE
1. Megan Fox.
2. Fazura – I love her since Gol & Gincu.
3. Heidi Klum – a model who never fails on the runway.
4. Ellen DeGeneres – she always makes me laugh during her talk show.
5. Blake Lively - “Serena” in the Gossip Girl.
6. Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza – I personally think no one has beaten her in female vocals, until now.
7. Intan Ladyana – a Malaysian actress.
8. Sophia Bush – the reason why I watched One Tree Hill.
9. Naima – America’s Next Top Model contestant.
10. Katherine Heigl – she has a natural talent in acting.
Shafura Onn.
MALE
1. Cristiano Ronaldo (footballer) - I got number 7 in my email due to CR’s official jersey number.
2. Kim Hyun Joong – a Korean actor and the leader of SS501.
3. Faizal Tahir – a Malaysian singer. I’ve started liking him since OIAM.
4. Remy Ishak – a Malaysian actor.
5. Jang Geun Suk – he’s awesome in You’re Beautiful (Korean drama).
6. Adam Lambert – American Idol season 8 finalist
7. Riz Amin – played ‘Fahmi’ in SpaQ 2. I once met him in Sogo. Gosh. He’s well grown-up man.
8. Danny V (Project Runway) – the reason why my email is dannyme.
9. Jackson Rathbone – acted as Jasper in Twilight.
10. Casey James – American Idol contestant.
11. David Silva – a Spanish footballer.
12. Wu Zun – an actor in Taiwan but was born in Brunei. A member of a group called Fahrenheit.
13. Henry Golding – a television personality. And a model too.
14. Syed Hussein (Sein) of Ruffedge.
15. Syed Aiman – a Malaysian actor.
16. Enrique Iglesias – a Latin singer. I had eyes on him when I watched “Do You Know” music video.
17. Nicky Hayden – MotoGP racer
18. Arjun Rampal – who says I don’t watch Hindustan? Hahaha ;p
19. Muhammad Shaffik Rahman – footballer of Negeri Sembilan.
20. Rizal – played ‘Yusuf’ in Dunia Baru series.
21. Shahredza Minhat – ‘Fakir’ in the movie Pisau Cukur.
22. Xabi Alonso – used to play for Liverpool, now he is Ronaldo’s team-mate (Real Madrid).
23. Jonathan Rhys Meyes – actor & model for Hugo.
24. The Rock – a WWF wrestler. Hahaha ;) oh. He’s an actor too. ;P
25. Iqram Dinzly – a Malaysian actor.
26. Kimi Raikkonen – F1 driver.
27. Farid Kamil – I used to like him in the movie “Lagenda Budak Setan”.
FEMALE
1. Megan Fox.
2. Fazura – I love her since Gol & Gincu.
3. Heidi Klum – a model who never fails on the runway.
4. Ellen DeGeneres – she always makes me laugh during her talk show.
5. Blake Lively - “Serena” in the Gossip Girl.
6. Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza – I personally think no one has beaten her in female vocals, until now.
7. Intan Ladyana – a Malaysian actress.
8. Sophia Bush – the reason why I watched One Tree Hill.
9. Naima – America’s Next Top Model contestant.
10. Katherine Heigl – she has a natural talent in acting.
Shafura Onn.
21 yrs & 5 months
I’ve been living for 21 years and 5 months now, and all I can say is there’s still a whole heck of a lot to learn. Life is a journey after all, isn’t it?
Meeting different types of people of various places enables me be an observer. Yes, I’m pretty sure that I was born as one. I love to look at humans, their faces, skills, actions, etc. And somehow I do think I can read someone’s mind, but it is from my own interpretation. That’s why I keep my thoughts off people’s knowledge. I just feel and say it to myself. Coz the fear of losing in self-trust is much harder to bear than knowing if my expectation of other mankind is wrong.
I’m just an ordinary slave of The Almighty, and I’m sinful. Keeping a balance of God-human and human-human relationships isn’t an easy task. Some people are very pious towards performing their life based on what their religions has taught them: they pray a lot, they fast willingly, they attend usrah without fail. Another group of people I’ve seen is the ones who don’t really put themselves in efforts of inner self development, in other words, they value human-human relationship more as they enjoy life to the fullest.
If I were to choose which group to fit in, I don’t think I’d belong to either one. I’ve met those who can lead me to the way a Muslim should be heading, but they are bounded by borders. They don’t really impress me on how joys should be filled in every moment of doing kindness. Too much limit makes me feel like they don’t really put this “Islam itu mudah” in their actions. Coz I believe this saying is practical, but not everyone can see it. This is only seen by selected ones, and I hope I can meet at least one of them in future.
About the second group, these people respect others; they don’t easily judge humans, love fills their heart and they are just easy-going and adorable. They are kind too, towards other living creatures. However, most of the people in this group I’ve observed are not-so-close to God. I’m not saying that they’re bad, but they don’t really take Islamic lifestyle into accounts. And I do think this is frightening enough as we’re not only living for now, but Muslims believe in life after, which is known as Kiamat and Akhirat where we’ll be rewarded for our good deeds or punished for our sins.
That is the reason why I say putting a balance is hard, but I believe it isn’t impossible.
Case 1: I asked my friend why she dated a jerk. Why I called him a jerk? He hurt my friend a lot; he said bad things to her, he scolded her for no reason, he clarified himself as single in front of other women though he was not at that time. When I served the question to my friend, she answered “I dated him coz he never fails to pray and he asked me to cover my aurat when we’re webcam-ing.”
--> Can u guys get what I wanna say? This fellow (the man) keeps a good relationship with God, he encourages people to do good, but he FAILS in creating a harmony in human-human relationship.
When I was in matrix, I once promised myself and my friends a thing. Dear buddies, if u think I’ve forgotten about it, u’re wrong. I still have that in mind. Keep my words, ONE DAY I WILL. INSYAALLAH.
p/s: there was a drama aired on TV3 entitled "Sama Tapi Tak Serupa" which portrayed about the same scenario I highlighted above. If you guys are interested to understand what I’m seeing and saying, try google/youtube for the drama. I bet u’ll know better after watching it. :D
shafuraa onn. 201110. 0043. Bandar Baru UDA, JB.
Meeting different types of people of various places enables me be an observer. Yes, I’m pretty sure that I was born as one. I love to look at humans, their faces, skills, actions, etc. And somehow I do think I can read someone’s mind, but it is from my own interpretation. That’s why I keep my thoughts off people’s knowledge. I just feel and say it to myself. Coz the fear of losing in self-trust is much harder to bear than knowing if my expectation of other mankind is wrong.
I’m just an ordinary slave of The Almighty, and I’m sinful. Keeping a balance of God-human and human-human relationships isn’t an easy task. Some people are very pious towards performing their life based on what their religions has taught them: they pray a lot, they fast willingly, they attend usrah without fail. Another group of people I’ve seen is the ones who don’t really put themselves in efforts of inner self development, in other words, they value human-human relationship more as they enjoy life to the fullest.
If I were to choose which group to fit in, I don’t think I’d belong to either one. I’ve met those who can lead me to the way a Muslim should be heading, but they are bounded by borders. They don’t really impress me on how joys should be filled in every moment of doing kindness. Too much limit makes me feel like they don’t really put this “Islam itu mudah” in their actions. Coz I believe this saying is practical, but not everyone can see it. This is only seen by selected ones, and I hope I can meet at least one of them in future.
About the second group, these people respect others; they don’t easily judge humans, love fills their heart and they are just easy-going and adorable. They are kind too, towards other living creatures. However, most of the people in this group I’ve observed are not-so-close to God. I’m not saying that they’re bad, but they don’t really take Islamic lifestyle into accounts. And I do think this is frightening enough as we’re not only living for now, but Muslims believe in life after, which is known as Kiamat and Akhirat where we’ll be rewarded for our good deeds or punished for our sins.
That is the reason why I say putting a balance is hard, but I believe it isn’t impossible.
Case 1: I asked my friend why she dated a jerk. Why I called him a jerk? He hurt my friend a lot; he said bad things to her, he scolded her for no reason, he clarified himself as single in front of other women though he was not at that time. When I served the question to my friend, she answered “I dated him coz he never fails to pray and he asked me to cover my aurat when we’re webcam-ing.”
--> Can u guys get what I wanna say? This fellow (the man) keeps a good relationship with God, he encourages people to do good, but he FAILS in creating a harmony in human-human relationship.
When I was in matrix, I once promised myself and my friends a thing. Dear buddies, if u think I’ve forgotten about it, u’re wrong. I still have that in mind. Keep my words, ONE DAY I WILL. INSYAALLAH.
p/s: there was a drama aired on TV3 entitled "Sama Tapi Tak Serupa" which portrayed about the same scenario I highlighted above. If you guys are interested to understand what I’m seeing and saying, try google/youtube for the drama. I bet u’ll know better after watching it. :D
shafuraa onn. 201110. 0043. Bandar Baru UDA, JB.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Dear Lord, Thank You. :)
I'M HAPPY, THANK YOU LORD, AND ALL.
I dont hv everything I want. But what I possess right now is enough. More than one cud ask for in life.
1. Haji Onn & Hajah Narimah.
These are my ultimate strengths. I know they'll do anything to bring smiles on my face. Mama selalu berpuasa setiap kali saya exam, abah pulak selalu tanya kat mama "dah tefon budak-budak hari ni?". And they'll be sacrificing whole-heartedly so that their daughters get what they want, regardless of how bad we are. I love you, mama & abah. Thanks for bringing me to life. I cant thank u guys enuf, but I hope I can take care of you in the next few years. InsyaAllah. :)
2. Haji Ibrahim & Hajah Maimunah.
My grandparents. Rumah mereka = rumah kedua saya. Toknah akan ingat saya adik-beradik setiap kali dia makan kfc ke pizza ke atau benda-benda lain. And dia seboleh-boleh akan simpankan untuk kami sampai kami datang rumah dia. Dia pun selalu masakkan lauk yang best bila kami balik bercuti. "Nak makan apa? Nanti atuk masak." And Toknah selalu tanya siapa bf saya and suruh kenalkan kat dia. Sporting bukan? ;P Tokyem pulak selalu beli jajan supaya bila ktorg dtg rumah dia, ktorg boleh makan tu semua. Icecream, keropok dan macam2 lagi. Saya selalu berharap mereka panjang umur sekurang-kurangnya sampai saya benar-benar dewasa. Saya benar-benar berharap.
3. Lala, Hairie & Eqa
My sisters and my bro-in-law yg saya dah anggap like my own flesh & blood. They are my siblings and my buddies. Walaupun Lala dah kahwin, saya x pernah rasa jauh dgn dia. Sebab kami masih pergi jalan sama2, buka puasa sama2, etc. Eqa toksah cakaplah, kami selalu bergaduh dan bergosip bersama. Ketiadaan adik lelaki tidak memberi kesan kepada saya sbb saya & eqa selalu je fight sepak terajang semua. ;P
4. My super-duper terrific buddies.
Susah nak describe koloni rakan2 saya. Ada yg kenal dr tadika, ada yg dari sekolah rendah & menengah, ada yg dari matriks and of course la bertambah bila dah masuk U. My bestie is very far far away, di Penn State sana, tp kami selalu contact, so x terasa pn dia jauh. Rakan2 rapat yang lain ada di UKM & JB. Kami sangat rapat sbb dari all-girls school, so bonding tu mmg erat sgt. Kalau dengan coursemates pula, kami rapat sebab everyday jumpa, like somehow, we share personal stories and problems. Therefore I hope, one day, my future other half can get along with all of them. Coz I dont think I cud make up my mind if I were to choose my besties or my bf (future) if they are not in good terms.
InsyaAllah, I'll be back home this coming wed, 101110. Cant wait to be with my loved ones! :D
Shafura Onn. 071110. 0101. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.
I dont hv everything I want. But what I possess right now is enough. More than one cud ask for in life.
1. Haji Onn & Hajah Narimah.
These are my ultimate strengths. I know they'll do anything to bring smiles on my face. Mama selalu berpuasa setiap kali saya exam, abah pulak selalu tanya kat mama "dah tefon budak-budak hari ni?". And they'll be sacrificing whole-heartedly so that their daughters get what they want, regardless of how bad we are. I love you, mama & abah. Thanks for bringing me to life. I cant thank u guys enuf, but I hope I can take care of you in the next few years. InsyaAllah. :)
2. Haji Ibrahim & Hajah Maimunah.
My grandparents. Rumah mereka = rumah kedua saya. Toknah akan ingat saya adik-beradik setiap kali dia makan kfc ke pizza ke atau benda-benda lain. And dia seboleh-boleh akan simpankan untuk kami sampai kami datang rumah dia. Dia pun selalu masakkan lauk yang best bila kami balik bercuti. "Nak makan apa? Nanti atuk masak." And Toknah selalu tanya siapa bf saya and suruh kenalkan kat dia. Sporting bukan? ;P Tokyem pulak selalu beli jajan supaya bila ktorg dtg rumah dia, ktorg boleh makan tu semua. Icecream, keropok dan macam2 lagi. Saya selalu berharap mereka panjang umur sekurang-kurangnya sampai saya benar-benar dewasa. Saya benar-benar berharap.
3. Lala, Hairie & Eqa
My sisters and my bro-in-law yg saya dah anggap like my own flesh & blood. They are my siblings and my buddies. Walaupun Lala dah kahwin, saya x pernah rasa jauh dgn dia. Sebab kami masih pergi jalan sama2, buka puasa sama2, etc. Eqa toksah cakaplah, kami selalu bergaduh dan bergosip bersama. Ketiadaan adik lelaki tidak memberi kesan kepada saya sbb saya & eqa selalu je fight sepak terajang semua. ;P
4. My super-duper terrific buddies.
Susah nak describe koloni rakan2 saya. Ada yg kenal dr tadika, ada yg dari sekolah rendah & menengah, ada yg dari matriks and of course la bertambah bila dah masuk U. My bestie is very far far away, di Penn State sana, tp kami selalu contact, so x terasa pn dia jauh. Rakan2 rapat yang lain ada di UKM & JB. Kami sangat rapat sbb dari all-girls school, so bonding tu mmg erat sgt. Kalau dengan coursemates pula, kami rapat sebab everyday jumpa, like somehow, we share personal stories and problems. Therefore I hope, one day, my future other half can get along with all of them. Coz I dont think I cud make up my mind if I were to choose my besties or my bf (future) if they are not in good terms.
InsyaAllah, I'll be back home this coming wed, 101110. Cant wait to be with my loved ones! :D
Shafura Onn. 071110. 0101. Kolej Ungku Omar, UKM, Bangi.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)