Saturday, November 20, 2010

21 yrs & 5 months

I’ve been living for 21 years and 5 months now, and all I can say is there’s still a whole heck of a lot to learn. Life is a journey after all, isn’t it?

Meeting different types of people of various places enables me be an observer. Yes, I’m pretty sure that I was born as one. I love to look at humans, their faces, skills, actions, etc. And somehow I do think I can read someone’s mind, but it is from my own interpretation. That’s why I keep my thoughts off people’s knowledge. I just feel and say it to myself. Coz the fear of losing in self-trust is much harder to bear than knowing if my expectation of other mankind is wrong.

I’m just an ordinary slave of The Almighty, and I’m sinful. Keeping a balance of God-human and human-human relationships isn’t an easy task. Some people are very pious towards performing their life based on what their religions has taught them: they pray a lot, they fast willingly, they attend usrah without fail. Another group of people I’ve seen is the ones who don’t really put themselves in efforts of inner self development, in other words, they value human-human relationship more as they enjoy life to the fullest.

If I were to choose which group to fit in, I don’t think I’d belong to either one. I’ve met those who can lead me to the way a Muslim should be heading, but they are bounded by borders. They don’t really impress me on how joys should be filled in every moment of doing kindness. Too much limit makes me feel like they don’t really put this “Islam itu mudah” in their actions. Coz I believe this saying is practical, but not everyone can see it. This is only seen by selected ones, and I hope I can meet at least one of them in future.

About the second group, these people respect others; they don’t easily judge humans, love fills their heart and they are just easy-going and adorable. They are kind too, towards other living creatures. However, most of the people in this group I’ve observed are not-so-close to God. I’m not saying that they’re bad, but they don’t really take Islamic lifestyle into accounts. And I do think this is frightening enough as we’re not only living for now, but Muslims believe in life after, which is known as Kiamat and Akhirat where we’ll be rewarded for our good deeds or punished for our sins.

That is the reason why I say putting a balance is hard, but I believe it isn’t impossible.

Case 1: I asked my friend why she dated a jerk. Why I called him a jerk? He hurt my friend a lot; he said bad things to her, he scolded her for no reason, he clarified himself as single in front of other women though he was not at that time. When I served the question to my friend, she answered “I dated him coz he never fails to pray and he asked me to cover my aurat when we’re webcam-ing.”
--> Can u guys get what I wanna say? This fellow (the man) keeps a good relationship with God, he encourages people to do good, but he FAILS in creating a harmony in human-human relationship.

When I was in matrix, I once promised myself and my friends a thing. Dear buddies, if u think I’ve forgotten about it, u’re wrong. I still have that in mind. Keep my words, ONE DAY I WILL. INSYAALLAH.

p/s: there was a drama aired on TV3 entitled "Sama Tapi Tak Serupa" which portrayed about the same scenario I highlighted above. If you guys are interested to understand what I’m seeing and saying, try google/youtube for the drama. I bet u’ll know better after watching it. :D

shafuraa onn. 201110. 0043. Bandar Baru UDA, JB.


  1. seems like u obsrved a lot,
    ak xtw pe, tp if ko tol2 cari
    n pakejkn skli dgn doa,plk 2 istiqamah
    insyaAllah ko akn dpt,

  2. aza: tenkiu! :D

    pojan: amiiinnn. Thanks pojan! :D