010112

Woke up late, macam dah seminggu tak jumpa katil. Had a bad dream. Thought I'm ready if that really happens, hakikatnya, sentap jugak.

Mata kiri still bergerak-gerak, make it a week now. Kenapa eh?

First day of 2012, I cant believe i'm gonna be 23. It feels and sounds so damn old.


Ahh. Ngantuk lagi. Sungguh membuntukan.




Yes, awak cute. Tapi awak ni budak sangat. Mengeja pn tak khatam lagi.




SO. 1550. Kajang Selangor.

:DD

When someone else did more-or-less the same genre like yours, but in different views and perspectives just to make everything clearer and wiser, plus ur goals and his are similar - knowledge-hunting for His love, u'd be amazed and thankful.


http://www.harunyahya.com/books/science/termites/termites_04.php


Thank you. :D

Falling slowly

I don't know you but I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me and always fool me
And I can't react

You have suffered enough and what with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'll paint it black

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now




SO. 211211. Kajang, Selangor.

131211

Beautiful date yet a bad day indeed.

Fever. And first day of time of the month. So I'm physically and emotionally unstable. Tersadai kat rumah, kerja apepun x siap. Back-pain of already a week. And I'm hungry too. Nak masak xde minyak. Maka lengkaplah penderitaan gua. Feels like going home again this week, pastu taknak balik sini dah.


Haih. Nak buat ape ni? =.=





SO. 1709. Kajang Selangor.

What happened on 031211.

1. It was Saturday. Had a good sleep the night before so I decided to go freshen up. And KLCC was chosen.

2. Loitering around is always easy but tiring, and this gets worse when I didn’t find my cup of tea on handbags as well as jeans.

3. Bought a top and a pashmina - out of my list. Argh.

4. I should start having milk in my everyday diet. My bones are cracking especially the ankles and fingers on the feet.

5. Salesmen of Isetan were I guess, charming, physically I mean. Was it a trick of the store to get more people attracted? I’d say it was.

6. Nobody wants to be sinned. But temptations are always there. And I failed to control myself. I feel bad. Isk.

7. Heard a conversation. Men change when they’re married? No more sweet talking, less understanding, tired of everything. Perhaps, patience sounds so bizarre to their ears as they only know to get mad easily. On whom? The wife, of course. One of numerous things I could not tolerate is, when a woman gets bullied. Gender-biased phenomena is still in our society? Pathetic.


"There's a side of me I wouldnt want you to know."




SO. 051211. 0019. Kajang, Selangor.

291111

Self-quality time is slowly decreasing, and I hate this part of my life.

What I’m feeling right now reminds me of how wonderful my days were couple of years back. I still remember my first few days in the uni - getting late to classes, copying assignments, club meetings, choral speaking practices and much more. Final year was tough though. And I still bear in mind for every single bit of the experiences. That’s how I got here now.

Studying is never easy. Nevertheless, I still have some time off of books. I went jogging to ease my mind after hours of memorizing notes, I met up friends during weekends, and I slept like half-day long when there’s no class on certain days.

And I miss doing those. Now that I’m working, I have very little time for myself. I feel like I’m abandoning my own self-care – xde jogging dah, muka comot, skin rashes kena gigit serangga, lengkaplah penderitaan gua. I’d have to go for fieldwork every fortnight, and outdoor cases are unexpected - expedition, seminar and so on. I got fatigue on weekends, so I’d just rest at home. And watch tv. And browse thru facebook and email. And that’s it. Sounds pretty boring, and believe me, it is duller than it may sound.

If it is up to me, I don’t wanna do anything right now. I really wanna have my hands off of pen and test-pad. I just want to have a year break. How I wish it’d be possible.

For recent, it is not only the changing phase of studying to working. My life is undergoing differences in terms of the seriousness of every decision I make. Every single yes or no contributes to future. Yeah, just follow the flow you may say to lighten up the burden in your mind and heart. But how hard gambler we really are?

Had a chat earlier with one and only brother-in-law, Hairie. We talked randomly-my future other half, politics, science, development of Malaysia, religions and so on. When talking to him, I always take him as a spokesperson for Mars creatures. And yes, for some cases and situations, he gives me a contrast view compared to what I might be thinking as a Venus's. Since my love life has never been as easy one, he told me that

"Keep looking on."

I still remember his elaboration that makes him say the above statement, but I dont feel like spilling it out here. I prefer to keep it concealed myself.


“ Gua mahu lari jauh-jauh for few days, without hand phone so nobody is able to reach me. Wait. Where’s my calendar?”




SO. 0004. 291111. Kajang, Selangor.

2011.2011

"Try not to depend on others sangat tau." - Somebody close, 171111.
I couldnt agree more.


And all I need is self-assurance, the answer of how to be independent.


Yes, I value self-quality time, as much as I value those important in my life.


Today's date is beautiful. Just like you. Thank u.




SO. 2305. Kajang, Selangor.