240212

So much in mind, couldnt even find a place to rest.

I wish I didnt know your past.

Its my fault, its my fault.

Making a relationship isnt hard, maintaining it is.

I've had enough.




SO. 2308. Home.

9 months

Exactly 9 months you left us for The Lord. There’s no word to describe how much I miss you that every time I think of you, I failed to control my tears. But I believe you’re happy there.


We’ll meet each other soon.


-Al-fatihah-




SO. 180112. 0105. Kajang, Selangor.

Ilham

Gagalku ingat bila ia terjadi, tapi yang aku pasti kesannya ada hingga kini.

Ia seakan memanggil, aku terpanggil mendekatinya. Luarannya ringkas namun ia seakan memberi penerangan kepadaku. Seperti juga mind-reader, ia tahu apa yang membuat semak di fikiranku. Ku tatapi satu-satu, indah dan penuh hikmah.

Kra, puitis namanya. Pertama kali bertemunya, aku rasa ia misteri. Hingga kini, aku tidak nampak ia lagi. Bukan kerana tidak berkesempatan, tetapi…entah. Takut barangkali. Tapi takut apa? Terguris? Mungkin.

Ia membawaku keluar dari comfort zone yang dah lebih dua dekad lamanya. Sebab itu aku rasa ia misteri dan hebat. Aku degil orangnya, dan ia sedikit sebanyak membantuku, menyedarkanku akan kelamnya syurga duniaku.

Kebanyakan bait katanya membuatku terasa. Masakan tidak. Kita senang-lenang berada dalam kehidupan kurang betul yang membahagiakan, tiba-tiba, datang (dan aku merelakan) ia memberi hujah, menyuruh melakukan sesuatu yang sangat jarang aku lakukan. Sanggupkah aku menerimanya?

Di sebalik semua katanya itu, hatiku terdetik bila ia menyebut sesuatu yang pernah aku fikirkan dahulu, namun aku lupa kerana malas mengambil tahu. Dijelasnya panjang lebar, lapang dada hatiku terbuka.

Dan kini, aku menyahut seruannya perlahan-lahan. Walaupun lama dah kami tidak bertemu, aku yakin ia hidup – it’s a living soul. Kalau bukan padaku, aku yakin ia beranak pada orang lain. Aku pasti sesiapa yang pernah disapanya akan tercalit keinsafan yang mendoakan istiqamah dalam kehidupan yang patut dijalankan seperti digambarkan Al-Quran.

“Ya Allah, semoga aku terus istiqamah walaupun pada saat pendorong kebaikan kepadaku hilang dari pandangan.”

I wont forget you. InsyaAllah, akanku cari engkau lagi bila berkesempatan.




SO. UKM Bangi. 130112.

010112

Woke up late, macam dah seminggu tak jumpa katil. Had a bad dream. Thought I'm ready if that really happens, hakikatnya, sentap jugak.

Mata kiri still bergerak-gerak, make it a week now. Kenapa eh?

First day of 2012, I cant believe i'm gonna be 23. It feels and sounds so damn old.


Ahh. Ngantuk lagi. Sungguh membuntukan.




Yes, awak cute. Tapi awak ni budak sangat. Mengeja pn tak khatam lagi.




SO. 1550. Kajang Selangor.

:DD

When someone else did more-or-less the same genre like yours, but in different views and perspectives just to make everything clearer and wiser, plus ur goals and his are similar - knowledge-hunting for His love, u'd be amazed and thankful.


http://www.harunyahya.com/books/science/termites/termites_04.php


Thank you. :D

Falling slowly

I don't know you but I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me and always fool me
And I can't react

You have suffered enough and what with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'll paint it black

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time, raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice, you've made it now




SO. 211211. Kajang, Selangor.

131211

Beautiful date yet a bad day indeed.

Fever. And first day of time of the month. So I'm physically and emotionally unstable. Tersadai kat rumah, kerja apepun x siap. Back-pain of already a week. And I'm hungry too. Nak masak xde minyak. Maka lengkaplah penderitaan gua. Feels like going home again this week, pastu taknak balik sini dah.


Haih. Nak buat ape ni? =.=





SO. 1709. Kajang Selangor.