'Nuff said.
Oh btw, buena suerte Manchester United. No matter if u win or lose, I'm gonna support u all the way. May you perform at your best. *love*
SO. 0044. 290511. BBU JB.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
IMY
'Nuff said.
Oh btw, buena suerte Manchester United. No matter if u win or lose, I'm gonna support u all the way. May you perform at your best. *love*
SO. 0044. 290511. BBU JB.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sabarlah.
I know its only Tuesday but apparently the beginning of this week hasnt been good to me. Yesterday's incident was mild. Today's was hard, severely difficult. I've never ever thought this would happen to those I love. My feelings are all mixed-up - anger, disappointed, sad, torn. I couldnt describe them in words. Everything's now changed entirely.
"Allah sedang menguji." Semoga kami semua tabah dan sabar menghadapinya. Ameen.
SO. 240511. 0859. BBU.
"Allah sedang menguji." Semoga kami semua tabah dan sabar menghadapinya. Ameen.
SO. 240511. 0859. BBU.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
19th!
Its our 19th! The sweetest league title ever!
Congratulations to my all-time fav Manchester United for their 19th title! Well deserved, Ferguson's team just keep getting results. Well done Sir. We're on top of the perch! *love love*
Shafuraa Onn is all smiles. Thanks MU for making me ecstatic. :D
SO. 2307. 140511. BBU, JB.
Monday, May 9, 2011
9th day of May
It is harder than it seems or sounds. The only thing I’m hoping is that, I can finally be neutral. Like a friend’s status “If you love a person but you don’t wanna jeopardize your friendship with him/her, just…let the feelings go.”
A good buddy of mine said “ Kalau kau mati dengan menyimpan perasaan menyukai seseorang, kau dikira mati syahid tau. Hikhik.” Then I replied “Kalau aku beritahu orang lain tapi dia still tidak tahu, nanti boleh mati syahid jugak eh?” She answered “ Hmm. Tak kot. Memang tak boleh beritahu sesiapa. Sebab tu aku tak beritahu kau siapa aku suka. Hahaha ;p”
So yeah, that’s pretty clear. I wont be telling anyone after this. But somehow, am I capable of doing that? I enquire myself. Haha ;)
Now, three close friends already knew my secret. Makin ramai. Oh man, its extremely difficult for me to keep mum about my ongoing issues. I couldnt help from sharing my things with other people, especially the ones I always talk to. I can simply let the cat go out of the bag!
As time passes by, more and more people are talking about marriage. Yes, I’m 22, and yeah, I’m undoubtedly young! And why the hell do the people keep asking me when to tie a knot? Sometimes, outsiders (not necessarily neighbours next door, I mean, the big family-uncles, aunts, cousin, all blood ties) are the ones pressuring my parents & myself. Not exactly giving pressure, but you know, the questions related to special friend, bla bla bla. The worst case is that, because of my age which they believe to be the right time knowing ‘someone’, they’d be surprise when I say ‘kawan adalah.’ They’d be like “ Lahhh. Xkan xde yang special kot?” Most of the time, deep inside, I just wanna yell “ betullah xde!” Then thinking that they’re oldies, I somehow ought to be respectful to them. So I’d just present them a bitter smile.
Loser lah. Never had an ex, currently dating no one. Crush? Many. Tapi crush je lah. Until present, I’d never do a confession. I think I couldn’t bear getting rejected. Or worst, losing a friend. So after some time, the feeling just fades away. The hardest was having someone as the apple of my eyes for three years, without meeting each other. I stalked his page every day, oh no, not every day, it was every time I logged in my facebook. Pretty crazy yeah? HAHA ;p
No, I’m lunatic no more. It’s the end of liking him. Move to next please! :D
There’s a kid I’m attached to. Not really actually, its just a confusion. Coz I couldn’t be firm of what I feel; if I really like him. And I don’t stalk his page every day; I seldom look up at his updates (I believe its quite surprising when I don’t really miss him). But while writing this; I’m listening to a song, which reminds me of him.
Huh. I feel tired. New face please! I miss having the good old times, macam crush dalam bas pergi sekolah dulu, or budak tuition ke. Comel oh. So therefore, please, ada budak utm yang comel masuk praktikal this coming 16th. Coz now I’m all alone doing nothing! Bored while wishing ‘cepatlah pukul 1, nak makan’ and I usually ended up napping in the lab!
Till then amigos, toodles!
Shafuraa Onn. 090511. 1830. BBU, JB.
A good buddy of mine said “ Kalau kau mati dengan menyimpan perasaan menyukai seseorang, kau dikira mati syahid tau. Hikhik.” Then I replied “Kalau aku beritahu orang lain tapi dia still tidak tahu, nanti boleh mati syahid jugak eh?” She answered “ Hmm. Tak kot. Memang tak boleh beritahu sesiapa. Sebab tu aku tak beritahu kau siapa aku suka. Hahaha ;p”
So yeah, that’s pretty clear. I wont be telling anyone after this. But somehow, am I capable of doing that? I enquire myself. Haha ;)
Now, three close friends already knew my secret. Makin ramai. Oh man, its extremely difficult for me to keep mum about my ongoing issues. I couldnt help from sharing my things with other people, especially the ones I always talk to. I can simply let the cat go out of the bag!
As time passes by, more and more people are talking about marriage. Yes, I’m 22, and yeah, I’m undoubtedly young! And why the hell do the people keep asking me when to tie a knot? Sometimes, outsiders (not necessarily neighbours next door, I mean, the big family-uncles, aunts, cousin, all blood ties) are the ones pressuring my parents & myself. Not exactly giving pressure, but you know, the questions related to special friend, bla bla bla. The worst case is that, because of my age which they believe to be the right time knowing ‘someone’, they’d be surprise when I say ‘kawan adalah.’ They’d be like “ Lahhh. Xkan xde yang special kot?” Most of the time, deep inside, I just wanna yell “ betullah xde!” Then thinking that they’re oldies, I somehow ought to be respectful to them. So I’d just present them a bitter smile.
Loser lah. Never had an ex, currently dating no one. Crush? Many. Tapi crush je lah. Until present, I’d never do a confession. I think I couldn’t bear getting rejected. Or worst, losing a friend. So after some time, the feeling just fades away. The hardest was having someone as the apple of my eyes for three years, without meeting each other. I stalked his page every day, oh no, not every day, it was every time I logged in my facebook. Pretty crazy yeah? HAHA ;p
No, I’m lunatic no more. It’s the end of liking him. Move to next please! :D
There’s a kid I’m attached to. Not really actually, its just a confusion. Coz I couldn’t be firm of what I feel; if I really like him. And I don’t stalk his page every day; I seldom look up at his updates (I believe its quite surprising when I don’t really miss him). But while writing this; I’m listening to a song, which reminds me of him.
Huh. I feel tired. New face please! I miss having the good old times, macam crush dalam bas pergi sekolah dulu, or budak tuition ke. Comel oh. So therefore, please, ada budak utm yang comel masuk praktikal this coming 16th. Coz now I’m all alone doing nothing! Bored while wishing ‘cepatlah pukul 1, nak makan’ and I usually ended up napping in the lab!
Till then amigos, toodles!
Shafuraa Onn. 090511. 1830. BBU, JB.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Random
I'm freaking hungry, like damn hungry. Tau tadi makan nasi goreng, makan kue teow sup je tak dapat hold tummy fullness for a long time. =.=
I'm gaining weight and pimples. Fine.
I'm re-thinking of doing Master. Idk. Or shud I just apply for the cops? Maybe.
I've decided to bin my diary. Its been a while since I last updated it, so baik buang je. Lagipun baru 3 pages. Nak tulis pun dah tak ingat nak tulis ape.
Arsenal was defeated. I'm a hardcore fan of MU, but if the trophy doesnt go to OT, I'd rather let The Gunners having it. Sorry The Blues, you arent my cup of tea, so please, dont get your hopes high, we wont let you get the title for two consecutive years.
My final paper will be on this Tues. Banyaklah nak kena study coz the exam includes all notes, starting from the very beginning. How the hell would I remember? Bawak toyol kang. Alah. Kalau kantoi tak boleh grad. :(
Its been a week since he met The Lord. Ya Allah, please, bless him. IMYVM, HIM.
Shafuraa Onn. 250411. 0232. UKM Bangi.
I'm gaining weight and pimples. Fine.
I'm re-thinking of doing Master. Idk. Or shud I just apply for the cops? Maybe.
I've decided to bin my diary. Its been a while since I last updated it, so baik buang je. Lagipun baru 3 pages. Nak tulis pun dah tak ingat nak tulis ape.
Arsenal was defeated. I'm a hardcore fan of MU, but if the trophy doesnt go to OT, I'd rather let The Gunners having it. Sorry The Blues, you arent my cup of tea, so please, dont get your hopes high, we wont let you get the title for two consecutive years.
My final paper will be on this Tues. Banyaklah nak kena study coz the exam includes all notes, starting from the very beginning. How the hell would I remember? Bawak toyol kang. Alah. Kalau kantoi tak boleh grad. :(
Its been a week since he met The Lord. Ya Allah, please, bless him. IMYVM, HIM.
Shafuraa Onn. 250411. 0232. UKM Bangi.
Monday, April 18, 2011
180411
180411. I hope, I pray, that it was just a dream, a sad dream. Apparently, the truth, the reality, the happening is just painfully true.
My previous post said " perlu menenangkan fikiran." And I said this to someone on Sunday "cepatlah hari selasa, aku nak lari."
That might be an early sign. Nampaknya betul. Memang wa kena pergi dari sini, dan pulang ke rumah.
Ya Allah, redhakanlah aku dengan pemergian salah satu orang yang sangat aku sayang. Tanpa dia, mungkin aku tak berada pada tahap yang sekarang ini. Kau cucurikanlah rahmat ke atas Haji Ibrahim bin Mohamed, permudahkanlah perjalannya di sana, dan Kau tempatkanlah dia di kalangan orang yang beriman. Amin.
Tok Yem, you will always be in my heart & soul.
p/s: Maaf rakan-rakan. Aku sedang melalui fasa yang sangat sukar dalam hidup. Aku harap kamu semua faham. And thanks for ur unconditional supports. Thank u very much.
Shafuraa Onn.
My previous post said " perlu menenangkan fikiran." And I said this to someone on Sunday "cepatlah hari selasa, aku nak lari."
That might be an early sign. Nampaknya betul. Memang wa kena pergi dari sini, dan pulang ke rumah.
Ya Allah, redhakanlah aku dengan pemergian salah satu orang yang sangat aku sayang. Tanpa dia, mungkin aku tak berada pada tahap yang sekarang ini. Kau cucurikanlah rahmat ke atas Haji Ibrahim bin Mohamed, permudahkanlah perjalannya di sana, dan Kau tempatkanlah dia di kalangan orang yang beriman. Amin.
Tok Yem, you will always be in my heart & soul.
p/s: Maaf rakan-rakan. Aku sedang melalui fasa yang sangat sukar dalam hidup. Aku harap kamu semua faham. And thanks for ur unconditional supports. Thank u very much.
Shafuraa Onn.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Live-less
Sumpah wa tak boleh nak concentrate. Melayang weyh fikiran, memang tak fokus habis. In other words, live-less gila. Damn lah, wa ade exam on Tues and Monday kena pass-up tesis yang dah ber-edit.
For the last three weeks memang dah ada rasa cmni dalam diri wa. Entah. Maybe bila busy dan xde masa buat diri sendiri buat wa rasa serabut gila. Physically memanglah macam biasa (except for mata wa yang dah rupa bola golf bila nanges banyak sangat), tp deep inside, mesti sendiri je yang benar2 tahu apa dirasai. Boleh je share ngan orang lain, tp depa pun maybe ada problem lain juga. Lagipun sekarang exam week. So, what else to expect?
Almost 22 years of living, wa x pernah rasa cmni. UPSR, PMR, SPM, Matrix final exam tu semua wa xde lah score sgt and x pernah pun jadi top scorer. Sedih sikit-sikit tu memang inevitable kan. Tapi senang nak recover. But this time around, disappointment wa semakin menjadi-jadi. Macam dah jatuh, before dapat diri betul2, dah jatuh lagi dan lagi. Penatlah.
I'm not talking about grades here, I'm talking about self-disappointment. Bila lu dah buat sesuatu tu separuh gila/mati, tp tak menjadi seperti yang diharapkan ataupun lu melakukan kesilapan yang sebenarnya boleh dielakkan, lu jadi down. Hah. Itu yang wa rasa. Lepas hampir setahun melakukan kerja yang boleh buat kepala crash, muka penuh jerawat, mata lebam panda serta bergaris halus, badan dehydrated dan rambut gugur, eh satu lagi, kena gigit dengan pacat, this is what I got? Tambah pulak wa rasa wa dah mengecewakan orang lain, the feeling is just extremely awful.
Bila dah banyak yang wa nampak tu semuanya negatif je, confirmlah setan dok tepi hasut-hasut lagi. So sekarang wa tak tahu apa yang irresistable; setan atau pemikiran sendiri. Tapi dua-dua pun dah menghantui diri, siap dah rushes thru segala vein dan masuk dalam darah.
Wa rasa kosong. Hah. Kosong is the perfect word. Bila fikir-fikir balik, ada soalan cmni terjah "Yang kaw dok meroyan cm orang mati laki tu dah kenapa? Hidup, biasalah. Ada ups and downs. Kalau senang bukan life namanya. Hidup kaya macam Mark Zukerberg pun belum tentu happy. Lagipun, we cant see rainbows without a little rain, ye dak?"
Macam nilah. Wa rasa ada dua 'sides' dalam diri sekarang ni. Satu, menghentam. Contoh monolog diri "kalau lu buat kerja dengan sehabis kritikal mesti segala silly mistakes yang bila kumpul2 menyebabkan banyak markah hilang boleh dielakkan. Takde lah lu menyesal cmni". Lagi satu side ialah yang memujuk. Monolog dalaman "biasalah buat silap. Pastu belajar dari kesilapan. Kita kan manusia biasa bla bla bla..."
Sah-sah la susah nak ikut yang positive tu. =.=
Perlu menenangkan fikiran. Semak ah.
p/s: Mcm nak jogging coz lama dah asyik ternak lipid. Kalaulah jogging tu boleh buat wa hilang ingatan pasal bende yang berlaku nih, dah lama wa jogging selalu. Pfffttt.
Shafuraa Onn. 1720. 160411. PTSL UKM Bangi.
For the last three weeks memang dah ada rasa cmni dalam diri wa. Entah. Maybe bila busy dan xde masa buat diri sendiri buat wa rasa serabut gila. Physically memanglah macam biasa (except for mata wa yang dah rupa bola golf bila nanges banyak sangat), tp deep inside, mesti sendiri je yang benar2 tahu apa dirasai. Boleh je share ngan orang lain, tp depa pun maybe ada problem lain juga. Lagipun sekarang exam week. So, what else to expect?
Almost 22 years of living, wa x pernah rasa cmni. UPSR, PMR, SPM, Matrix final exam tu semua wa xde lah score sgt and x pernah pun jadi top scorer. Sedih sikit-sikit tu memang inevitable kan. Tapi senang nak recover. But this time around, disappointment wa semakin menjadi-jadi. Macam dah jatuh, before dapat diri betul2, dah jatuh lagi dan lagi. Penatlah.
I'm not talking about grades here, I'm talking about self-disappointment. Bila lu dah buat sesuatu tu separuh gila/mati, tp tak menjadi seperti yang diharapkan ataupun lu melakukan kesilapan yang sebenarnya boleh dielakkan, lu jadi down. Hah. Itu yang wa rasa. Lepas hampir setahun melakukan kerja yang boleh buat kepala crash, muka penuh jerawat, mata lebam panda serta bergaris halus, badan dehydrated dan rambut gugur, eh satu lagi, kena gigit dengan pacat, this is what I got? Tambah pulak wa rasa wa dah mengecewakan orang lain, the feeling is just extremely awful.
Bila dah banyak yang wa nampak tu semuanya negatif je, confirmlah setan dok tepi hasut-hasut lagi. So sekarang wa tak tahu apa yang irresistable; setan atau pemikiran sendiri. Tapi dua-dua pun dah menghantui diri, siap dah rushes thru segala vein dan masuk dalam darah.
Wa rasa kosong. Hah. Kosong is the perfect word. Bila fikir-fikir balik, ada soalan cmni terjah "Yang kaw dok meroyan cm orang mati laki tu dah kenapa? Hidup, biasalah. Ada ups and downs. Kalau senang bukan life namanya. Hidup kaya macam Mark Zukerberg pun belum tentu happy. Lagipun, we cant see rainbows without a little rain, ye dak?"
Macam nilah. Wa rasa ada dua 'sides' dalam diri sekarang ni. Satu, menghentam. Contoh monolog diri "kalau lu buat kerja dengan sehabis kritikal mesti segala silly mistakes yang bila kumpul2 menyebabkan banyak markah hilang boleh dielakkan. Takde lah lu menyesal cmni". Lagi satu side ialah yang memujuk. Monolog dalaman "biasalah buat silap. Pastu belajar dari kesilapan. Kita kan manusia biasa bla bla bla..."
Sah-sah la susah nak ikut yang positive tu. =.=
Perlu menenangkan fikiran. Semak ah.
p/s: Mcm nak jogging coz lama dah asyik ternak lipid. Kalaulah jogging tu boleh buat wa hilang ingatan pasal bende yang berlaku nih, dah lama wa jogging selalu. Pfffttt.
Shafuraa Onn. 1720. 160411. PTSL UKM Bangi.
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